BEING SARAH.......

Firstly, thank you everyone who commented on my exes letter. I was thinking that maybe it was a little bit provoked because i emailed him asking about the women he'd been out with. I don't know, but what he wrote was NOTHING different to the shit that came out of his mouth pretty much everyday. For the most part this is going to be a positive blog :) My boyfriend walked in yesterday and i started moaning because he was 45 minute late! He handed his car keys to me and said "There's something for you"...I grabbed the keys in a petulant way and stormed off. Sitting on the floor in the back were these.. ..how could i be mad anymore? I walked in holding them, massive smile on my face, with my tail between my legs feeling all sorry for being a whinger. Then ((and this bit shocked me)), he said as of 6.10 this evening, you're now insured on my car. WTF!???? This is MASSIVE for HIM and me. I won't lie, anxiety filled my body, it meant that now i have NO excuse oth

Sarah. Its time to be straight with you. NEVER contact me again. I do not want to hear from you. I dont give a fuck if its about the divorce, or your leg has fallen off. I AM NOT INTERESTED. FUCK OFF. I left you because i dont want anything to do with you. I have a new mobile number and i have been transfered. You wont ever get me. Yes. I am going out with women not that its any of your fucking business and they are all a fucking hellava lot better than you. You fucking drained me. You made my life a misery with your stupid fucking problems. I put up with you and your son for 7 years. I never wanted to marry you, i cant believe i did. The biggest mistake of my life. I should have got out before i was tied down. I put my life on hold. Yes i did what i wanted and i went on holidays but the rest of it (being with you) was shit. You turned me into someone who i didnt even recognise anymore. All those things that i use to say to you, i stand by everything. You are a

I have a financial problem at the moment. I closed down TWO accounts because they were postal and hellish to withdraw, get statements...anything - it was hard work. So in the post i recieved two cheques from those accounts, meaning that all my money was in a chequ

I KNOW I AM SOUNDING LIKE A TOTAL LOSER, BUT I AM REALLY DEPRESSED. EVENTS OVER THE LAST 5 DAYS HAVE FUCKED ME UP. FACEBOOK...is pure evil! Things you do when you have way too much time on your hands. It all started last night with the negative, depressed thoughts of 'not being good enough' blah, blah, blah... Today it got worse because i started trawling Facebook for the evidence to clarify that what i thought was in fact absolutely 100% true. Like a complete cock head i started with HIS ex. I only know 3 girls names...and i have met two of them in person. I went back to his last girlfriend and checked out the pictures. One of them STILL saying "ME AND THE OTHER HALF" meaning MY boyfriend - what pissed me off about this is that she has updated that album since they have split up...ugh! So yeah...there are pictures of her in his tent, camping, what he LOVES to do...and what i can't do. This upset me no end. There were tears...and tears...and tears. What had me wo

I had just washed and hovered my floor and the stupid CAT came in made THIS mess on the floor.... ...leaves, leaves and more leaves!

...i fucked it up, it's over. I'm really, really upset today.

I'm feeling completely 100% rejected. By him. In fact i am crying... This week i saw him Tuesday night, Wednesday and Wednesday night. Thursday, Friday he was out with his mates. He come round yesterday and he said that he'd see me Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Woke up this morning and says "I won't see you later.." With that, the flood gates are released. I couldn't/can't understand why he'd change his mind

...every one positive that happens to me, 1 - 5 negative things follow...straight after...without any encouragement from me. IT'S ALL BULLSHIT! Unless you can't tell, i'm having a really BAD day today and for reasons that i cannot go into, but it's just bad and on top of that i feel like an ugly piece of fat crap with no life...

With his permission i am posting a new picture. I would like you to meet my gorgeous boyfriend.... Today i had to go and have a scan at the hospital. Yes, we followed my mum, but it is 20 minutes away - so that IS something. Then on the way home we were going to go to the farm and see the animals, but because of the pouring rain, i said "NO WAY!"... From there...man friend and i drove home alone....without ma....about 5 minutes.... :) :) :) I am beyond happy today... He got the day off to come with me... He's gorgeous... ♥

I STAYED AT HIS HOUSE!!!!! ♥

8 days, no update. What can i say? It's not because i am living a rock 'n' roll lifestyle, that's for sure... Not much has happened apart from the hatred i have for myself causing just a couple of rows, that's always nice, especially the ones that occur at the most inappropriate of times. I'm a cock! Ended up self harming on Tuesday night after a 'row'...ugh! My dog has been uber sick. She wouldn't stop throwing up (even water), so she went to the vets they gave her loads of injections/medications and she is appearing to be a wee bit better today, at least she can stand without falling over. I was so scared, i thought she could die at one point. Her little eyes looked so sad. Today... i'm REALLY missing my ex again . This is the second time in a couple of days. The last time i felt like this i took a second to think what it exactly was that i was missing, and i could think of nothing, so those feelings went, today when i tried that, it has

I can't remember