Madder than a mad thing...
The boyfriend called me this morning and gave me both barrels saying that i don't try hard enough, that i have SO many problems he can't cope with them, he doesn't understand my skin picking....the list went on and on. In the end he told me to get to the fucking shop....stop being "LAZY"...... Now, of all the things you can call an agoraphobic, being called lazy doesn't go down too well. I am NOT lazy. I am scared. I still fear going out alone more than anything. Anyway, with that i put on my glasses and got on my sons bike and rode to the garage (AKA The Co-op). You can only ride so far and then i had to walk the rest of the way, it didn't take long, but the fear and anxiety as i got off the bike to walk was quite outstanding. I staggered into the shop like i was pissed, my hands were shaking, i felt sick, couldn't get a deep breath, proper anxiety.... Searching for coffee, round and around, couldn't see it anywhere.... For fucks sake.......