BEING SARAH.......

Thursday/Friday....NOTHING! (but should be sorting out my room) Saturday/Sunday...CAMPING in rural Suffolk Monday...NOTHING Tuesday...Appointments WEDNESDAY.....MY BIRTHDAY. Shopping/out for dinner Thursday...Sorting out room Friday...Sorting out room Saturday...Party/BBQ Sunday...Boyfriends Mum's AND taking out furniture Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday...Bedroom being done Thursday/Friday....Furniture being delivered. Busy, busy, busy! Cannot wait to go camping this weekend. Stink is coming too, he's so excited. I bought him a sleeping bag today and blow up bed. My fella has got an 8 person tent, so i think it should be big enough. We're going with 2 couples and maybe a women and her son, don't know for sure. It's basically in the middle of nowhere, about an hour away from here. The weather is meant to be lovely, so that's good news. It's like a "birthday" weekend for me....

MY BOY! SO HANDSOME AND GROWN UP!

So i called up my mother yesterday and was all happy from what i had done during the day, but i got little to no reaction. So i called off. A little later i phoned again, and again i got the same response. No "Well done" nothing like that, in fact, she was more preoccupied with the fact that Stink wanted his hair cut and she likes it slightly longer! That conversation was a struggle, she barely spoke to me. This morning i speak to my sister to see if mum was in an okay mood with her and she said that yes, she was fine. 10 minutes ago, my sister called me back after having a chat with mum. Apparently, my mother is feeling no longer needed. I don't call her as much any more (NB. If you knew the hassle it is to call my mother. A) She never has her mobile on. B) If you call and she's still at work you are confronted with tuts and sighs from my step father, like i shouldn't be calling - no win situation). I can kind of understand that this could be an emoti...

Stinky had a day off today (teacher training), so we all went out....and *I* went swimming, to a swimming pool....10 years since i've done that. I was so embarrassed though, i'm not good in baring my body to the general public, in fact i fucking hated it. I felt fat and disgusting beyond belief. Anyway....pictures of my day are here :)

..I just got in - it's 2am!!! Get me.

..hell just frozen over, pigs flying in the air....? Holy moly. I am gobsmacked, speechless and flabbergasted. What has happened? Just chatting to my (absent) father. He wanted to ask me (9 weeks late) how my knee was. Further on in the conversation, he asks about Stinky, i say he's fine and that he just had two days at his new senior school. Then, out of the blue, my father says... "CAN I BUY HIS UNIFORM?" WTF? Little does he know that altogether (not including new coat/bag/and pencil case stuff), it is going to be about £230. There is a VERY strict uniform ruling at this school and are many compulsory items that the children have to have, including black socks. I've sent him a list including the prices as from the uniform shop so he knows i'm not taking the piss. My father has never done anything like this for me - ever! Anyway, back to Stinkys school. They are very tough. I like it. They have point system there. So if the children look scruffy, have no tie/blaz...

(INSERT SARAH'S ANGRY FACE HERE) Why is it, after almost 12 years my step father is still so ignorant to my illness? This afternoon i asked my mother if she could take me to Stinkys new school tomorrow night at 7pm because there is a welcome parents evening. If it wasn't for the fact that Stinkys dad has no car and my fella is working until 7 then cutting hair until 9, i would have gone with either of them, but i can't so i ask my mum, BUT...my STUPID step father says "WHY DON'T YOU WALK THERE?". It's way too far for me to walk on my own, simple. I wouldn't even try, it's just too far. I am so pissed off with the stupid comments he makes. He has NO idea about agoraphobia OR panic attacks.