BEING SARAH.......

Woke up, the swelling was still there but not quite so bad. Gradually during the day it completely subsided to almost nothing. INSTEAD i have blisters all over my face...which....i don't mind so much! Funny that. I've been nowhere and done nothing today. GOOD DAY!

I'm going this alone. I don't want anyone near me... I don't want to talk to anyone... All i want to do is sit and wait for this bullshit to go off my face. I've had a couple of doses off Prednisolone now. First one was fine. No reaction, in fact it didn't do anything. Didn't take the itching away, didn't make my swelling down down. Just after the second dose, i felt sick, legs were aching and i cried for England. I cried down the phone to my boyfriend (not just cried, i SOBBED) about everything. This is a BDD sufferers worst nightmare. You already despise the way you look, but now - i REALLY AM DISFIGURED. Nearly 3 days in, i still look a frigging mess and in fact the rash on my neck has started weeping, which is nice.... [[OMG - about 10 minutes ago i put in eye drops and sitting here in bed, i have just tasted them at the back of my throat - how bloody disgusting.]] My son is at his daddy's tonight, so it's been a really quiet night, quite...

It's 8pm and where the skin on my neck is so sore and tight, i start to get panicky because it feels like i am being strangled. My next door neighbour texts me to see if i'm alright and i said no (obviously) so she came straight round. She can see that i am really distressed and getting panicky, so she calls up the out of hours doctor for me. She was absolutely brilliant. So calming. The doctor sends a "CODE RED" paramedic to me.... (who incidentally saw me that day in the chemist getting my medication). He checks me over, asks if i do an recreational drugs because my pupils are so big....lol. Then comes the ambulance. They check me over and said i am in no immediate danger - so, i can stay at home. Thing is, when i was given the steroids and the doctor didn't realise that i am mental because you're not meant to give this particular drug to mental people, so i had to get Benadryl and some steroid cream (neither of which worked). Anyway - the ambul...

I have no pain today, so i am opting for the chicken's way out and going to be sedated for it :) Happy days - unless it starts hurting again. Initial appointment through for the 8th November!

OMFG - This is agony! FREEDERM SPOT CREAM! I've used it forever, but it no longer wants to be my friend :( Been given steriods now, so hopefully that'll do something, but currently, it's burning/itching and i want to cry!

I'm taking a blogging break. Cannot deal with the bullshit anymore. I've got too many IMPORTANT things happening in REAL LIFE to worry about INTERNET FUCKWITS/FUCKTARDS. I will be back, but i need a little time out. Keep well...keep safe. Sarah♥

I have got a decision to make before 9am tomorrow. The situation is this. I HAVE MAJOR TOOTHACHE ! Now, i go to the dentist tomorrow, i get a referral to the clinic where they sedate me and i know nothing about it, which could take up to 8 - 10 weeks! OR....i go tomorrow and get it whipped out, there and then - BUT I HATE DENTISTS! What shall i do?