BEING SARAH.......

..and now, my HUSBAND (yes, i am still married, although still separated) called today and told me he wants a divorce! I was always ALWAYS hoping that we'd get back together, because i DO and i AM still in love with him and miss him every-single-day...clearly, he's not feeling the same. He reeled off all the same reasons why he wants the divorce...but we had NEW reasons too. The first 'new' reason is that he is going to Australia next year and if we were together, he wouldn't be able to save the money to go - therefore a VERY GOOD reason to not be together. Another reason, he HATES where i live and never wants to live here again... The day my world fell apart :( 30/5/2009

If it wasn't bad enough that i have developed a massive patch of WET ECZEMA on my face but i burnt my lip on pasta, so i have a huge burn which looks like fucking herpes. Lovely!!!

I read this article today in the daily mail.... Just click this link!

My boyfriend has had a phobia of needles (blood taking) since he was 14 (bad experience). He is 42 on Tuesday, so for a VERY long time. He's managed over the years only to have ONE blood test, and that was when he was 17, so since then, no needle activity in his arms! Even before our trip to the doctors on Monday he'd got an appointment to see a hypnotherapist, we knew the outcome of the doctors visit would be for him to have a blood test. He came away from the hypnotherapy appointment feeling like 'Superman' (in his words). He felt like he could definitely have one day. Me being ever the sceptic (after my sessions of hypnotherapy) was a little concerned with the elation he was feeling, because I too had that feeling and after it came the panic and anxiety. However, for my boyfriend he remained Superman. This morning at 8.30, he took himself off to the hospital (i couldn't go because he wouldn't be able to get me back home before work) and had the test. I ...

...and seeing how they cope. My boyfriend has had a fear of needles since he was very young and has managed to avoid any contact with them apart from 2 occasions when he needed to be held down, not good. When we went to the doctors about his high blood pressure i knew beforehand they would want him to have a blood test to check

One thing as a person with a long term eating disorder is that i got over the constant obsessive weighing myself, and just went with how my clothes felt. At my skinniest i am not kidding it would be every half an hour.... How bad is that? At Christmas time i purchased a new "Weight Watchers" scale...the kind that checks your BMI/Water/Fat....etc. I've used it once since i had it, the boyfriend used it a couple of days ago, so it's not had much use at all. This morning i got 'the urge' to see what i weighed. I KNOW i had put on weight recently because of the amount of good food i've been eating :) ..I strip down and jump on. I weighed 6 st 13 3/4 lb (97lb)... just under 7st, with a BMI of 17.9. Personally i think this weight is good for a short arse... I am short, very short, but at the end of the day, i am eating good things, nothing is forbidden or scary any more. When i went to my friends yesterday we had a cup of tea and a big ole slice of a M ...