ABSENT SON :(
Day two now...i am missing my boy so much and this fact got me thinking -
What is it with some parents who don't think any thing of palming their children off on grandparents/absent parents/other family members for weekends or even a week/s at a time?? Okay, so Stinky goes to his daddy's on Friday night and is home Saturday, that's the longest he's stayed away since he's been born. It's an every week thing, but to have your child away for any more than that - i clearly cannot bare it and what makes it worse is the ZERO contact thing. At his dads i can call whenever i want and he's there.
I've known of 'people' who really don't worry or even seem to mind about their children going off for a week with the in-laws... Perhaps i am an over protective/over caring mother and i do have to let go....but i don't give a shit... When i had Stinky at the age of 22 with no 'father' around, right then made a LIFE LONG COMMITMENT to have that child with me until he leaves home. School trips and holidays are something i understand i WILL have to deal with, but that doesn't stop me feeling like my left leg has been chopped off. He's 11 for goodness sake, only 11!!!! I never went on a school trip, not through my whole schooling, nor with the Brownies or Guides. For me, i didn't want to leave my mummy, not much has changed there then. My first holiday alone was at the age of 16, that's only 4 1/2 years from what Stinky is now....OMG!!!! That's a scary thought.
I miss his presence, i miss his noise (can't believe i am saying that), i miss him coming up to me and saying "Mummy - KISS"..... I adore my son and i don't like him not being here, not one bit.
Today, i am here alone, no one to talk to, nothing and whereas Stinky would be home at 3.30, he's not here and it's killing me. I understand this trip is amazing for him and will do him the world of good and i am pleased for him, but as his mother, the person who loves him more than anyone ever...i am lost without him.
(UPDATE: I just had a discussion with my bf and he can't understand why i am pining for him so much, he said "You don't mind when he's at his dads" - but like i said in this blog, I CAN CALL HIM WHENEVER I WANT.... even if it's just to say "Hello, are you okay?, Good night, i love you"...cue sad face and tears)
What is it with some parents who don't think any thing of palming their children off on grandparents/absent parents/other family members for weekends or even a week/s at a time?? Okay, so Stinky goes to his daddy's on Friday night and is home Saturday, that's the longest he's stayed away since he's been born. It's an every week thing, but to have your child away for any more than that - i clearly cannot bare it and what makes it worse is the ZERO contact thing. At his dads i can call whenever i want and he's there.
I've known of 'people' who really don't worry or even seem to mind about their children going off for a week with the in-laws... Perhaps i am an over protective/over caring mother and i do have to let go....but i don't give a shit... When i had Stinky at the age of 22 with no 'father' around, right then made a LIFE LONG COMMITMENT to have that child with me until he leaves home. School trips and holidays are something i understand i WILL have to deal with, but that doesn't stop me feeling like my left leg has been chopped off. He's 11 for goodness sake, only 11!!!! I never went on a school trip, not through my whole schooling, nor with the Brownies or Guides. For me, i didn't want to leave my mummy, not much has changed there then. My first holiday alone was at the age of 16, that's only 4 1/2 years from what Stinky is now....OMG!!!! That's a scary thought.
I miss his presence, i miss his noise (can't believe i am saying that), i miss him coming up to me and saying "Mummy - KISS"..... I adore my son and i don't like him not being here, not one bit.
Today, i am here alone, no one to talk to, nothing and whereas Stinky would be home at 3.30, he's not here and it's killing me. I understand this trip is amazing for him and will do him the world of good and i am pleased for him, but as his mother, the person who loves him more than anyone ever...i am lost without him.
(UPDATE: I just had a discussion with my bf and he can't understand why i am pining for him so much, he said "You don't mind when he's at his dads" - but like i said in this blog, I CAN CALL HIM WHENEVER I WANT.... even if it's just to say "Hello, are you okay?, Good night, i love you"...cue sad face and tears)
Comments
I do miss him terribly though.
I moved out a few years back and up until that point my Mum and Dad would see Jay every night and play with him etc. I know how much it upset them me/us moving away.. because its about an hour away its too far for people to pop in for a coffee etc, so Im happy for them to have weekly contact like that.. Factor in that Jay would rather be there than here sometimes anyway (spoiling grandparents!). If his Dads family wanted him to stay over I would say no, never. Theyve barely seen him and I just cant trust them basically because I dont know them.
The 6 weeks holidays are different.. I even asked my parents if they would take a week of and have Jay.. At the weekends I do miss him like crazy, and I obv miss him when hes gone on holiday with them etc (holidays arent something he could get with me anyway, unless he wants a holiday within a mile radius of our home!).. But with the 6wks hols I find we're climbing the walls and I struggle to occupy him for that length of time.. so maybe then I am 'palming him off' on them I dunno :0/
He will be back soon.. They must allow them to call home at some point? Not a great consolation I know, but it should break the time up.
xx.
Our situations are very different, i've raised Stink pretty much as a single parent since he was 3. My last husband was not here for the first 3 years of our relationship, then because of various trainings' he had to go on for jobs, that was another good 9 months out, then he worked stupid long shifts so he'd come home at like 10pm, when Stink was sleeping, and on the rare occassion he was home, he'd just moan.
I feel like my son is really the only stable male i've ever had in my life, and i like having him around.
He does my head in over the hols too, but a day out and i am all clear and ready to go again :)
She has definitely noticed Stinky not being here as she's up at the window whining for him, so cute.
Hope you're well :)
x