Agoraphobia, the M25 and Ikea!
Let's talk agoraphobia... Fed up of the decorating chat... It's STILL going on... I will talk more when it's finished and i am not wearing a dusk mast to get from room to room!
Ikea. Ikea is roughly 1hr - 1h 20 minutes away, depending on the traffic through the next big town. Yesterday, we left at 6.30pm and the traffic was terrible, every light was red and it did take us well over an hour, coming home i think we did it in just under an hour... so made good progress despite it peeing down and not good splashback from the lorries.
My mother WILL NOT drive on 'big' roads, that is any road bigger than a normal town/country road, so that leaves me... i am not a lover either... in fact we hit the first part of the big road an my heart races and i am gripping onto the steering wheel for dear life, in fact, we get to the other end and we have to peel my hands off the wheel. Anyway...primarily, above the driving part I have a fear of going out in the dark and 2 of our trips to Ikea have been in the dark. Ugh! Doesn't make me happy, but still i managed to do it, I think because i am concentrating on the other 3, sometimes 4 lanes of traffic and road signs, i seem to cope with it. It doesn't excite me... but i cope. Could i do it with the BF? Unlikely. Anyone else in the car? Nope. So that just leaves my mother then!!!!
Most people know how Ikea works. You go in... and once you're in, you're in... there is NO escaping until you leave....plus, it IS fooking enormous. We had to go straight to the customer services to take something back, then we went off to find my bits. All fine... until we forgot a teeny part... which i asked my boy to get but he couldn't find the right aisle so i said i'd go... BIG MISTAKE. As i walked off i shouted at my mother to stay where she was because the trek to the right aisle was a long way, i reckon we walked 2 miles around there yesterday...! So i get halfway and think, i bet she's moved.... so i get panicky and trot back...and what do you know? She'd moved!!! For about 10 seconds until i saw her again panic had properly set it...
Off i went again to pick up the bits that i needed. It took a good 5 minutes to get to the right place and find the bit, i could feel me getting more panicky and really wanting just to run, but to run back to my mother was a long way... so i stuck with the panic, eventually finding the bit that i needed and surprisingly calmly walked back to where mum was waiting.. Ugh! Scary shit.
In terms of 'going out' i've done bloody well......
In terms of coping with the mess in my house, terrible....
There will be NO end to the mess i have to clear up...
Ikea. Ikea is roughly 1hr - 1h 20 minutes away, depending on the traffic through the next big town. Yesterday, we left at 6.30pm and the traffic was terrible, every light was red and it did take us well over an hour, coming home i think we did it in just under an hour... so made good progress despite it peeing down and not good splashback from the lorries.
My mother WILL NOT drive on 'big' roads, that is any road bigger than a normal town/country road, so that leaves me... i am not a lover either... in fact we hit the first part of the big road an my heart races and i am gripping onto the steering wheel for dear life, in fact, we get to the other end and we have to peel my hands off the wheel. Anyway...primarily, above the driving part I have a fear of going out in the dark and 2 of our trips to Ikea have been in the dark. Ugh! Doesn't make me happy, but still i managed to do it, I think because i am concentrating on the other 3, sometimes 4 lanes of traffic and road signs, i seem to cope with it. It doesn't excite me... but i cope. Could i do it with the BF? Unlikely. Anyone else in the car? Nope. So that just leaves my mother then!!!!
Most people know how Ikea works. You go in... and once you're in, you're in... there is NO escaping until you leave....plus, it IS fooking enormous. We had to go straight to the customer services to take something back, then we went off to find my bits. All fine... until we forgot a teeny part... which i asked my boy to get but he couldn't find the right aisle so i said i'd go... BIG MISTAKE. As i walked off i shouted at my mother to stay where she was because the trek to the right aisle was a long way, i reckon we walked 2 miles around there yesterday...! So i get halfway and think, i bet she's moved.... so i get panicky and trot back...and what do you know? She'd moved!!! For about 10 seconds until i saw her again panic had properly set it...
Off i went again to pick up the bits that i needed. It took a good 5 minutes to get to the right place and find the bit, i could feel me getting more panicky and really wanting just to run, but to run back to my mother was a long way... so i stuck with the panic, eventually finding the bit that i needed and surprisingly calmly walked back to where mum was waiting.. Ugh! Scary shit.
In terms of 'going out' i've done bloody well......
In terms of coping with the mess in my house, terrible....
There will be NO end to the mess i have to clear up...
Comments
Thank you though :)
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