WARNING....

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I KNOW I AM SOUNDING LIKE A TOTAL LOSER, BUT I AM REALLY DEPRESSED. EVENTS OVER THE LAST 5 DAYS HAVE FUCKED ME UP.

FACEBOOK...is pure evil!

Things you do when you have way too much time on your hands.

It all started last night with the negative, depressed thoughts of 'not being good enough' blah, blah, blah...

Today it got worse because i started trawling Facebook for the evidence to clarify that what i thought was in fact absolutely 100% true. Like a complete cock head i started with HIS ex. I only know 3 girls names...and i have met two of them in person. I went back to his last girlfriend and checked out the pictures. One of them STILL saying "ME AND THE OTHER HALF" meaning MY boyfriend - what pissed me off about this is that she has updated that album since they have split up...ugh! So yeah...there are pictures of her in his tent, camping, what he LOVES to do...and what i can't do. This upset me no end. There were tears...and tears...and tears. What had me worried is that i know he's independent and loves to go away (fuck me, sound familiar? Just like Arsewipe) and he does it alot...but i can't...so my concerns are, will i start to resent him for going away and leaving me behind? I told him all about this on the phone just now and as always..he *sounded* understanding.

Feeling useless and a failure *the norm* i go on and dare i say frantically (slight elaboration) but i like the word...search through my exes friends profiles and the joys i find there. MY HUSBAND DRAPPED IN WOMEN! I can't say much about it because i'm with someone...it was just the shock of seeing it. Did not make me happy.

All in all - i feel shit.

Comments

em said…
makes me depressed when i go on facebook, so i dont. i feel for you. you will get there in the end, its just the bit inbetween thats the difficult bit.xxxx
20/08/2009, 15:14
lotte said…
Im also another fellow F Booker and I hate the way it makes me feel...in fact its not even the way it makes me feel it just confirms everything I already know about myself :(
20/08/2009, 19:00
S said…
Where are these pictures? I need proof that any woman would drap herself over that miserable piece of crap.
20/08/2009, 20:45
coffeecup said…
I just blogged about the 'joys' of facebook thinking it was just me who found it made them feel like crap. Hmm, how wrong I was! I pity the women draped on your ex. They don't know what a totally selfish git he is do they?! Wish them luck hunny, they'll need it if they get involved.

I thought old married couples only called each other 'the other half'? Euch! How unromantic! Facebook is all deception and who knows, she may have left it there on purpose to hurt you or because she is hurt. Forget it, really. He's with you now.

In future who knows what will happen? You may find that you are very capable of going on a camping trip and please don't dismiss it, because it could absolutely happen. Lots of couples are in the same boat when one is agoraphobic and they manage to stay in love and together even though one wants to go on holiday. You will find a solution/compromise when you come to it. He may be too much in love with you to bear to be apart so let's see?

Put the tent up in the back garden and have a laugh! You wouldn't get me camping!! Where would I plug my hairdryer in???

Stay postive lovely. You should be very proud lately with all that you have achieved. XXX
20/08/2009, 22:59
Sarah♥ said…
Alice..i don't know why i do it...yes i do - to torture myself. Stupid facebook!

x
20/08/2009, 23:23
Sarah♥ said…
Lotte..Completely agree. All these people who are tagged like a million times by all their friends, me - i have none :(

x
20/08/2009, 23:23
Sarah♥ said…
Sarah. LOL..i could show you one, but thats on an open profile and with just his friends, the others i added myself as a friend, had a look and then deleted him.
20/08/2009, 23:25
Sarah♥ said…
Steph..Hope you are well gorgeous :)

There are NO joys to facebook apart from my BF leaving me "I LOVE YOU" messages every now and then...apart from that - i think i would rather do without it.

I'm just having a really negative couple of days. Things started off badly this week and set my frame of mind in a bad way. I DO absolutely hope one day i COULD do those things...right now....i just don't know.

x
20/08/2009, 23:28
Amy said…
Facebook stinks!

Firstly, pity his ex who still lists him as her boyfriend! It's kind of sad that she does and no reflection on you or how he feels about you. She obviously wishes he still was her boyfriend (but you have him now!)

Secondly, forget your ex (if you can). Like coffeecup said, pity the girls draped over him because they'll eventually get to see what he's really like and it will be them who are suffering at the hands of his awful personality and not you!

As for the camping....well my Mr loves camping. Me..not so much (I'd miss my mod cons way too much! Give me a hotel room with a view and a spa any day!) and we manage to do just fine (in that he hasn't been camping since we met-lol). I'm sure you guys will work that one out.
21/08/2009, 06:06
Sarah♥ said…
I'm glad i'm not the only person to dislike FB! I KNOW of other girls who search for exes, exes new girlfriends/friends...i don't think i am alone in doing it, however, its never nice when you see photographic evidence.

I would go camping (if i could) to be a "good girlfriend"...lol. Of course i am a lady and i like my creature comforts, but i'd do it...for him.

Thanks for your comment :)

x
21/08/2009, 08:17
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