Being ugly..
This is an issue that is consuming my every minute of everyday.
I can't think of anything else apart from being so disgusting. I look in the mirror and i cry. I sit and watch TV, see beautiful skinny girls, with their perfect skin, hair, boobs, legs, bum....and i cry. I have even started avoiding watching certain shows because it makes me feel so crappy.
Agoraphobia, i have a chance of overcoming, being ugly - is NEVER going to happen.
Sitting here, at my computer, i just can't explain how awful it is to feel this way. I want to be accepting of what i have...but i can't and i doubt i ever will.
I am so sad. I just want to look nice...for one day.
I put on make-up and i look like a clown. I look STUPID. I try to cover scars and blemishes, but nothing works. I try is disguise the fact i have no tits, but it's clear that i have nothing.
I went into M & S to be measured yesterday and without even measuring my boobs (i was a 32 round the back), she could see that i had nothing and apart from offering me the fucking TEENAGE bra range...there was nowt there. I was devastated. How do you think that makes a girl feel like? Ugly, inferior, less of a women, insecure...hideous, absolutely hideous.
I'm pathetic. In every sense of the word. My life, being like this, LOOKING like this...there is no fucking point.
I can't think of anything else apart from being so disgusting. I look in the mirror and i cry. I sit and watch TV, see beautiful skinny girls, with their perfect skin, hair, boobs, legs, bum....and i cry. I have even started avoiding watching certain shows because it makes me feel so crappy.
Agoraphobia, i have a chance of overcoming, being ugly - is NEVER going to happen.
Sitting here, at my computer, i just can't explain how awful it is to feel this way. I want to be accepting of what i have...but i can't and i doubt i ever will.
I am so sad. I just want to look nice...for one day.
I put on make-up and i look like a clown. I look STUPID. I try to cover scars and blemishes, but nothing works. I try is disguise the fact i have no tits, but it's clear that i have nothing.
I went into M & S to be measured yesterday and without even measuring my boobs (i was a 32 round the back), she could see that i had nothing and apart from offering me the fucking TEENAGE bra range...there was nowt there. I was devastated. How do you think that makes a girl feel like? Ugly, inferior, less of a women, insecure...hideous, absolutely hideous.
I'm pathetic. In every sense of the word. My life, being like this, LOOKING like this...there is no fucking point.
Comments
Hey, we all get critical of our bodies at times. That's just part of being human. You just can't let it run away with you like it has. It doesn't matter what I say because I'm just some crazy guy from 3000 miles away, but I'm sure your boyfriend would agree when I say that you are FAR from ugly. Quite the contrary. You're very attractive. Ugly is like a three day ride on horseback from where you are!
This has nothing do with being ugly. Its all about self image. So, like anxiety or agoraphobia, that's just another thing to work on while you're on this journey. Have faith in yourself that you can improve it just like you can improve any other aspect of your life that you choose to.
If it makes you feel any better Im a 30 round the back.. who makes 30 in bras, not many! Ive even been down the teenage bra route, even my Nanna suggested I try it!!
Youre lovely, go easier on yourself!
xx.