Okay...

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I HAVE BEEN TOLD THROUGHOUT MY LIFE BY VARIOUS PEOPLE THAT I AM UGLY, THAT I AM DISGUSTING. ONE TIME AN EX FRIEND (AND THIS STICKS IN MY HEAD) SAID THAT SHE WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF MY (EX) HUSBAND HAD TO PUT A BAG OVER MY HEAD TO FUCK ME...AND THAT I SHOULD CONSIDER BECOMING A MUSLIM JUST SO I COULD WEAR ONE OF THEIR DRESSES THAT COVER UP THE ENTIRE FACE AND BODY!!!! WHY OH WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT UNLESS IT WAS THE TRUTH?

WHENEVER I WENT OUT WITH MY FRIENDS, I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ALWAYS LEFT JUST STANDING AROUND WHILE THEY WERE CHATTED UP....NO BLOKE WOULD COME OVER TO ME. NOT THAT I WAS OFFISH OR RUDE...IT WAS CLEARLY BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE HELL.

I AM REGULARY TOLD BY PEOPLE DOWN THE PUB THAT I AM UGLY...THAT MY FACE IS A MESS, THAT MY ARSE IS FAT, MY TITS ARE FLAT...

THIS IS MY LIFE, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO LISTEN TO, IS IT ANY WONDER I FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK?

Comments

domestic empire said…
Sarah, take a look at the people on this site: people of walmart. I wouldn't be so condescending as to tell you not to worry, but it could be worse luv.

Take care fellow nmp pal <^_->
25/01/2010, 11:42
Sarah♥ said…
I looked and saw nothing that disgusted me or i found repulsive, unlike how i feel about myself.

x
25/01/2010, 11:46
Robert said…
Have you ever looked around - really looked around - at the shapes and sizes of what looks like happy couples? During my time playing in a dance band, I got to see lots of amorous couples. Let me tell you - looks had very little to do with their happiness. I've seen huge Amazon women paired with midgets; huge fat men with skinny girls; fit blokes showing off their 6-packs with plain shrinking violets; smelly bikers with girls pretty enough to be models; spotty adolescents with middle-aged mamas... Then there's Marie & me - how unlikely is that?

You don't have to love the way you look...you just have to accept yourself, warts and all. After all, if looks were everything - all the old wrinklies would be living alone, wouldn't they? Who could love them? And all the pretty young things would be very settled and happy in stable relationships...instead of being divorced/single mothers/ladies of ambition...

I'm not able to totally ignore it when others criticise my appearance, but after a while I can say to myself...fuck them - if they don't like me the way I am, they can all go & get stuffed. Try it - it just might work.

Sorry about rambling on...
25/01/2010, 21:49
Nikki said…
Hi Sarah,
people can be downright cruel.. Are these people down the pub considered mates, if so I think you need to change them for better ones! Either way if they were that mean to me knowing I wasn't taking the joke well, then Im doubtful Id bother going in there and Id find somewhere nicer to go where I wasnt made to feel like crap. Im sure they are all supermodels themselves anyway right!

One of my ex's told me I was ugly several times, that I could do no better than him, that he had gorgeous women after him (confirming that by showing them off to me, and ultimately cheating on me several times). I was told to sit or lay a certain way when we were in bed together (so my 'boobs look better this way').. He said I was Barry Manilows sister, I looked like gonzo.. etc etc, all equally lovely things. All this stuff sticks like superglue I know!

Like I say, people can be horrible. Theres genuinely nothing wrong with you and when I watched that vid u did with Ruby weeks ago I thought to myself how pretty you are.

xx.
26/01/2010, 11:22
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