Reliving the past...

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..is sometimes scary.

I was watching "Wanted down under" on TV the other morning and i was remembering when I was in Australia...

HOW THE FLIP DID I GET THERE???

So then i started remembering what i did when i was in Australia....

HOW THE HECK DID I DO THAT!?????

Remembering one thing in particular that really sparked off feelings of anxiety and panic.

One morning, my mother and sister decided to get on a boat (a chartered boat) and visit GREEN ISLAND. Even back then i hated boats despite doing THIS earlier in the holiday... I hated every minute of the journey and especially the part where the ferry just stopped in the middle of the sea for no reason... Back to the story. Mother and sister set off early in the morning to catch the boat and left me in the apartment alone. No problem. No fear. No "OMG i am thousands of miles away from home and my mother is in the middle of the sea how am i going to cope". No mobile phones in case of 'emergencies'. I sat in the apartment until i set off to meet them where the boat came in. I happily walked the mile (if not more) walk to the marina, and i got there a little early so i had to wait for a bit.. Again, no problem. I just wandered around the large shopping center until they were back.

Even typing that makes me SO anxious. I cannot believe i was ABLE to do that.....
Remembering going on holidays alone with my friend and actually losing her for a day in Majorca, didn't bother me... Thinking about it now makes me feel terrible. I am getting more agoraphobic again... thinking of doing things or things i have done is scaring the shit out of me....

Comments

william smith said…
Anxiety attacks builds up gradually, last longer and is not as intense. It can be caused by excessive worry about everything, particularly about your life. This anxiety can get out of hand and cause physical sensations as well.
Anxiety Attack vs Panic Attack
09/01/2012, 11:27
Miss F said…
oh :-( I think also shows how strong you are to, you have overcome your fears before and done some truly AMAZING things, and you WILL do it again, i know you will xxx
pfftttttt...and you didnt even drop in to see me while you were here LOL( even though you didnt know me,,thats not an excuse hehe)
xxxx
11/01/2012, 06:00
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