FFS
Feeling so down and shit about myself, what could i do about that? Should i sit and pick my face for an hour, that will surely help me..... No Sarah, it really doesn't help, because now all i can see when i pass a mirror is the left side of my face covered in big red spots that are inflamed and weeping a mixture of blood and yellow watery shit. How do i feel now? A gazillion times worse. Worse than yesterday, and the day before that. So what should i do now? Pick some more to see if i can rectify the damage done... NO SARAH, that WILL make them even more horrendous.
After a bout of compulsive skin picking, i am fully aware that i will have fucked up looking skin for at least 10 days, if not more. I will feel more disgusting, i won't want to go out, and all i NEED to do is pick, pick to make them better.
There is no helping me.
I just need to not be me, be someone else, for just a day, someone normal who doesn't have any cares in the world, so i know what it feels like.....what i am missing, 'cause all i know as 'normal' right now is life of misery...hatred...self loathing....depression...self harm....panic....anxiety.... What kind of life IS this? Really? This is NOT living....
After a bout of compulsive skin picking, i am fully aware that i will have fucked up looking skin for at least 10 days, if not more. I will feel more disgusting, i won't want to go out, and all i NEED to do is pick, pick to make them better.
There is no helping me.
I just need to not be me, be someone else, for just a day, someone normal who doesn't have any cares in the world, so i know what it feels like.....what i am missing, 'cause all i know as 'normal' right now is life of misery...hatred...self loathing....depression...self harm....panic....anxiety.... What kind of life IS this? Really? This is NOT living....
Comments
Sudocrem?
I find I pick at my eyelashes.. last time I left a right bald spot!
What happened with the cardmaking/hobby thing? What about taking up photography or something.. I like taking photos, nothing hardcore! Lots of them turn out crap, some come good though.. either way its a nice reminder of the good days when youve got out and seen something nice.
Cycling?
You just need some nice me time, something to lift you up and get you back on track. Could you manage the cinema, going to see your friend with the baby.. could she come and see you? Not sure if its a trek, but maybe she could come see you and leave baby with you, catch up on some sleep, shopping or just arrange to have her haircut or something??
xx
I went to Hobbycraft and was overwhelmed with all the bits and bobs and came away empty handed. I didn't really know what i did want once i was there....pointless 40 mile journey!
I see my friend weekly, we go round there....she's not up to leaving the baby at the moment, i've offered countless times already, i'll just have to wait until she's ready.
xx
Maybe some starter kits would be good.. Jewellery making, you could make some funky braclets, they dont have to be the beaded kind, could be anything you want really. Ive never been one for cross stitch but you may like it.. Knitting!? I got a few rows and found that quite relaxing, but the harder stuff I couldnt quite manage. That was I Can Knit, or something like that, I bought it from Play.com.
Baking.. maybe not good if you stress about getting fat (Which you aren't!).. I like baking, and while I cant always eat what Ive made because of the ingredients, its nice to make cakes for other ppl.. Simon was taking them to work at one point :)
Dont worry about your face, whats done is done now.. Try and remember for the next time, take a pic and remind yourself of the mess you made (Although Im 99.9% sure its not as bad as you think). Its hard though, once I start picking at the lashes its hard to stop.. oh, and ingrown hairs on my legs, Ive made a right mess in the past! xx
I have far fewer spots since doing this regime daily for months now - Panoxyl 10 Wash - Differin Gel (from doctors) - Avene Anti Redness Moisturiser Light. Trying not to pick (fail!) and fiddle with my face. Whatever you think about your complexion, you are still beautiful :)
Nikki's idea about making bracelets is great! Hobbycraft is overwhelming and far too expensive though. Whenever I go I just complain non stop about the prices. Can you make something we girlies can buy from you? Macrame or leather wrist bracelets? Something funky and fun? You are artistic Sarah, you'd soon pick up a craft. I was daunted by cross-stitch but once you've made a few stitches it's so easy.
You are so smart and creative, you could make anything that takes your fancy. xxx
I'm going to ask the doctor about that gel, i use Panoxyl 10 acnegel, but sometimes that can cause my eczema to get bad, so i have to be really careful.
I use to make jewellery. I had a thing about necklaces and made so many, too many in fact, it got silly. I am still looking for the right beads to recreate one i made when i was in Australia but sadly lost about 5 years ago. They were plain colour beads, but all i can find are shiny almost metallic looking , or the plastic see through ones, and they are not what i want...
I will know what i want to do when i see it. Hobbycraft was a nightmare, but my mother picked up a really nice vase (tall vase) for 35p....., reduced from £10..... bargain or what?
xxx
Ah, I don't know if this stuff can irritate eczema. It can make skin sensitive, but there are other anti-biotic type topical solutions for skin from the docs. There is stuff out there that can really help, course it's finding what suits the individual person. Ask him/her chick for some to try x
Diver is THE person to ask about jewellery materials, especially in Australia. If you make some casual bracelets I will buy some. I used to love wearing dozens at once when I was an 80s teenager! PS. Tell me again where to find the ones you wear please? :)