Shouldn't have done that...

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...I weighed myself this morning. I was 7 stone (98lb)..... This number bothers me. It bothers me a lot. Combine that with a face that looks like i've got chicken-pox (due to my excessive picking), when will i learn? PICKING and EATING CHOCOLATE CAKE/BISCUITS, do not help me at all.

I am fed up. I look like hell. I hate being me. I am consumed with self-loathing...inspecting everything about my fucking hideous body....

Comments

Nikki said…
Id feel miserable if I were 7 stone, but for different reasons! I was 7 stone 3 after Id been ill for a while and I looked awful. Im about 7 stone 8 or 10 (I dont know exactly because I dont look.. I leave it to Simon to make sure its not going lower because it makes me miserable being this thin!).. Im 5 foot 4 and my dietitian thinks I need to gain a stone at least, preferably 2 but Ive never been more than 9 stone 3 in my life and that was through eating total rubbish, 2 triple choc muffins, sausage cobs, chips and 3 bars of chocolate a day etc! I'd love to be able to stomach all that now! My cbt lady asked me if I knew about starvation syndrome, it means you bloat and get stomach pains etc, I dont think it applies to me, more like IBS and stress, although I do have a sensitive stomach. I read your food diary on your other blog and I think theres no need to worry about a bit of chocolate here and there.. maybe with a bit of weight will come some boobage anyway!? ;oD
You look fine, worrying about your weight atm is just another stress on you. Enjoy your food, Id kill to be able to eat anything I wanted xx
27/07/2011, 16:03
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