Angry angerson.
I am MORE that pissed off, for many reasons...some of which i would love to go into, but can't...so i'll just stew on them, but the MAIN reason is this.
I can't remember if i have talked about this, because my brain is mush, but for ages i've been having strange bodily senstions. Numbness, hand shakes while holding a cup, legs constantly twitch and shake too, tingling, pain behind my eyes, strange vibration feelings INSIDE my body really weird things. So my doctor refered me to the neurology department.
Now, I KNOW anxiety and i KNOW that if you overbreath/hyperventilate you get tingling/numbness/shaking etc, i am NOT stupid, so when i'm sat watching the TV on a Saturday afternoon, completely calm and relaxed with not a care in the world and you go to pick up the remote control and your arm is dead, not because you've been leaning on it, or it's in some funny position and it's gone dead, no, my arm was just like a lump of lead, therefore it's very unlikely that it's been caused by anxiety. Also when i'm lying in my bed and my leg is shaking like crazy, again - NOT my anxiety. See, i don't think he knew that my anxiety is caused by LEAVING the house, i am fine when i am inside, so there is reason to be getting "anxiety" symptoms. I KNOW my body and i KNOW what i feel isn't right. Another scary thing is that i have to write everything down, my memory is shot. I have to write ALL my passwords down now despite having the same ones for years.... and food lists are not written at the last minute, they are done day-by-day because i WILL forget.
I walk in to the office and the guy starts asking me questions, what are my symptoms..how often i get them..blah blah blah. He runs a number of tests on me, then starts talking about am i depressed and that he reads from my notes that i suffer with acute anxiety - and fucking BANG, there you have it - everything that i feel is down to ANXIETY! Well fuck you Doctor No Good - let's just hope you're right, cause IF there is something wrong with me and you've fobbed me off with the whole anxiety bullshit, then there WILL be trouble, arsehole!
Clearly i am angry...
He see's from my face that i am MORE than pissed off with what he said, so he comes back with this, he can't rule out the possibility that it isn't in fact anxiety related, so in that case, he will send me for an MRI of my brain (if they can find one)....
I walk out.
I can't remember if i have talked about this, because my brain is mush, but for ages i've been having strange bodily senstions. Numbness, hand shakes while holding a cup, legs constantly twitch and shake too, tingling, pain behind my eyes, strange vibration feelings INSIDE my body really weird things. So my doctor refered me to the neurology department.
Now, I KNOW anxiety and i KNOW that if you overbreath/hyperventilate you get tingling/numbness/shaking etc, i am NOT stupid, so when i'm sat watching the TV on a Saturday afternoon, completely calm and relaxed with not a care in the world and you go to pick up the remote control and your arm is dead, not because you've been leaning on it, or it's in some funny position and it's gone dead, no, my arm was just like a lump of lead, therefore it's very unlikely that it's been caused by anxiety. Also when i'm lying in my bed and my leg is shaking like crazy, again - NOT my anxiety. See, i don't think he knew that my anxiety is caused by LEAVING the house, i am fine when i am inside, so there is reason to be getting "anxiety" symptoms. I KNOW my body and i KNOW what i feel isn't right. Another scary thing is that i have to write everything down, my memory is shot. I have to write ALL my passwords down now despite having the same ones for years.... and food lists are not written at the last minute, they are done day-by-day because i WILL forget.
I walk in to the office and the guy starts asking me questions, what are my symptoms..how often i get them..blah blah blah. He runs a number of tests on me, then starts talking about am i depressed and that he reads from my notes that i suffer with acute anxiety - and fucking BANG, there you have it - everything that i feel is down to ANXIETY! Well fuck you Doctor No Good - let's just hope you're right, cause IF there is something wrong with me and you've fobbed me off with the whole anxiety bullshit, then there WILL be trouble, arsehole!
Clearly i am angry...
He see's from my face that i am MORE than pissed off with what he said, so he comes back with this, he can't rule out the possibility that it isn't in fact anxiety related, so in that case, he will send me for an MRI of my brain (if they can find one)....
I walk out.
Comments
No wonder you were angry. Not being taken seriously is horrible. His attitude was unprofessional and patronising. What if there is something else and it goes undetected because of a misguided judgemental assumption? Makes me really angry too!
I really hope that the scan proves you have a perfectly healthy brain and body btw!
I dunno hunny. The worst symptom I have is a dead feeling in my limbs. It's like they're not there even though I can move them. Not being able to feel my feet was the first symptom I ever noticed. It's weird and disturbing when it happens. And yes it occurs at home in bed and in all the places I'm meant to be 'safe' and relaxed. Is it anxiety??
Thing is, a while ago I was sent to see a neuro specialist and as soon as he heard I have anxiety was no longer interested in talking further. I felt like a fraud. Didn't matter that I wobbled over in front of him when asked to stand straight. Still I feel as if I'm swaying and get the numbness thing happening a lot. It's scary not knowing if you're suffering from anxiety because you will worry it's something else. Honestly, if they'd found I'd had MS it would have made better sense and I could have dealt with that. Ironic isn't it?
Anyway, this isn't about me, it's about you. Just wanted you to know that I do empathise, and that everyone ought to be thoroughly checked out just to be 100% there isn't some other cause. Sadly, once you've had a panic attack, you're pretty much stuck with the anxiety label forever more.
Good luck lovely. You have a smart brain, show them that you expect to be treated with a lot of respect.
xxx