....and bang!

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...that is the sound of me crashing to the earth like a frigging bomb!

Once again, we're in the midst of a downward slump, so to speak.

Since my operation and how i felt so poorly after (including the DVT scare), it's made me more agoraphobic again. Scared to go out, feeling panicky most of the time, anxious, just generally phobic. Along with those problems, i then have the feelings of worthlessness, being useless, a failure...followed swiftly by my esteem plummeting and feeling unbelievably ugly, fat, scarred, wrinkled...AND on top of ALL that, the icing on the cake, paranoia - WHY IS MY BOYFRIEND WITH SUCH AN UGLY FUCK UP!? HE WILL LEAVE ME FOR SOMEONE ATTRACTIVE WHO CAN GO OUT SOONER OR LATER.

Have a good weekend!

Comments

Nikki said…
Snap! Feeling EXACTLY the same! I think I would be a hypocrite to offer any sort of advice under the circumstances.. But I can say that these feelings will pass and I think you are beautiful.
Its just a glitch, you'll be back on track in no time, don't worry.

xxxx.
08/05/2010, 11:59
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