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Cannot do this for a second longer. I'm not sticking around waiting to be fucked over by yet another man, what is the point? To get my heart stamped on and crushed - again. I simply couldn't cope with it. It's bad enough feeling as if it WILL happen, but feeling it every second of every day is draining. I can't sleep because i worry about it. I can't talk about it with him because it will cause a row and i hate arguing. Nothing is ever resolved through shouting at each other. The constant paranoia, uncertainty, fear... Do i NOT have enough to fucking deal with already???

Love doesn't even come into it. People get cheated on and apparently its not because they're not loved anymore, what a load of bollocks, seriously! Come on people....

I am driving myself crazy.

There is fuck all point in being with someone when you feel so shit, insecure and unsure. I try not to let this show, but it's hard and i can't keep it in anymore. I am bursting. I need to let it out. I need to be on my own. I need to be well enough to cope with a relationship, right now, i am no where near that.

He's just told me he's going to a pub on Friday with his mates where loads of single ladies will be, of his age, "NORMAL" women....."SANE" women....."ATTRACTIVE" women with tits.....

Just CANNOT fucking do it.

Comments

Amy said…
I sent you a message on facebook hun xxx
12/05/2010, 02:58
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