BEING SARAH.......

...back to crazy town! Despite having the EMG test done that came back normal (only took 20 minutes or so, so i am thinking NOT long enough to get good readings), i am still have real issues with speaking and swallowing, so i believe i have Bulbar ALS which starts with the tongue.. Oh good grief.... I am STILL twitching over my entire body, i have denting in my hand which i think is atrophy.... i can't go through this all over again! I've just read that jaw/teeth chattering (check, no i am not cold it just happens),  abnormal startle reflex (check.  If i am startled i get the feeling of an electric shock through my body), feeling food go down really slowly (check),  inability to swallow at times (check, it's like i go to swallow and i just can't), brisk reflexes in the deep tendons (check) are all signs..........great!!!!

...now there's a shocker! I have spent the entire evening in hospital. We had to call an ambulance, these feelings in my heart were insane. I was sat in the back on the ambulance and they did all my obs. I was tachycardic, my BP was really high (usually its stupid low) and my ECG was showing Atrial fibrillation, meaning the top two chambers of my heart are beating faster than the bottom two. I was put on oxygen as well because my breathing was a little bit crappy. The medic man stuck a candular in my hand and hit a valve apparently, my hand swelled up in seconds, it was so painful. Got to the hospital and did all the necessary things and then we had to wait...and wait...and wait. Where they'd stuck that needle in the back of my hand and hit the valve, it started going dead. I couldn't feel 4 of my fingers! I called to get someone to take the bugger out. I'm left with a lovely bit blue bruise this morning. My step-father was called to pick us up because we thoug...

I was up from 3am - 6am with my little man last night. He had a raging temperature and he couldn't stop coughing. When he woke up at 9 i knew it was time to get him to the doctors. He was just floppy and he's constantly in the bathroom coughing and gagging. The doctor, OUR wonderful doctor was very good with him. He checked him from top to bottom, he made Stinky laugh when he asked him how many ciggies he'd been smoking! He's got a crappy chest infection and is on antibiotics now, so PLEASE GOD within a couple of days he'll be feeling better and he can get a good night sleep. He just walked into my room and his eyes are "ill" looking all heavy and dark, he's not his normal happy self. I'm obviously not at work today. My son takes priority every time over work i am afraid. I am sure they'll be pissed off with me but i did warn them yesterday that he was poorly so there was a chance i might not be able to work. Anyway...

Too cute.. The dog is scared of the cat!!!!!  :)

Isn't my blog boring now-a-days?? Nothing in my life to report.. Everything is cool... Oh, i have fucked up my ankle from the 30 day shred.  I haven't "shredded" in a week or so... I can't walk.. I have to start physio on Monday and have an ultrasound appointment too.  Not great.  I am pretty sure i have torn the cartilage in it, why do i think that?  Because the pain is exactly the same as when my knee was bad.  Burning, searing, stabbing agony... So that is that... Bad ankle... Boo. Hiss. ..However, having a bad ankle did not stop me from going shopping.... I purchased 2 duvet sets and some more cushions for my front room....I do love soft furnishings... :) I've spent the day top-to-bottom cleaning my house... there is NOTHING more rewarding that seeing your house look sparkling clean.. I love it.... So.. this is the life of a NON depressed, agoraphobic single mother... Exciting huh???

Dr Christian Jessen is a doctor (obviously) who does lots of TV shows over here. Supersize V Superskinny and Embarrassing bodies to name a few. Anyway, he's been on Sunday Brunch this morning and i was really shocked to hear that he suffers from BDD (and that's he gay! My gaydar is usually spot on, but i missed him...Good for you Doc) He hates his body. He see's himself as the skinny teenager he once was, but clearly he's not. People know i have BDD and whether you choose to believe me or not i don't care. I have been pulled up before on making YT videos (despite there being lots of other sufferers on there doing the same) or taking pictures of myself. What *YOU* don't realise is how many photos i have taken and deleted to get ONE that i can bare.... or how many times i make videos and delete them because i hate the way i look. I NEVER ask for people to say anything about my appearance - i never seek approval from my readers, for you to compliment m...

I was in Sainsburys yesterday doing my shopping and something happened which made me rethink my list of things that piss me off... So in no particular order..... 1) People who have NO manners.  PLEASE/THANK YOU/SORRY... Easy. 2) Two faced fuck heads. 3) People who don't give way to the RIGHT ... GIVE WAY TO THE RIGHT! 4) Old people.  Not all.  Most though.  They are SO rude.  I was rammed yesterday by a womens trolley, she must have been in her 70's, she was walking fine, i checked for walking aids, there was nothing.... she KNEW she'd rammed me because her trolley was stuck on my ankle bone.. did she say sorry?  Did she fuck!  RUDENESS!!!!!! 5) Queue jumpers. 6) Untidiness. 7) People who leave skids down the back of the toilet... If you make a mess - clean it! 8) People who judge others when they are NOT perfect themselves.  Until YOU are perfect, shut the fuck up!!!!! 9) Commitmentphobes. 10) People who think they are better than othe...

I use all my vouchers that the machine in Sainburys spat out at me totaling £2.84 so i could purchase a £4.59 clear nail polish from Rimmel (which by the way i have used and it is shit), and the boyfriend brings me an OPI one... for free...........Ha!!! :)

I've been doing the Jillian Michaels 30 days shred work out video for 7 days now and i can't see any difference yet apart from in my arms slightly, and i was being really cocky because i found "Level 1" on YouTube and i didn't have to buy it, however... can i find "Level 2" anywhere.... Can i heck!?? So the BF is purchasing it for me.... Bless him! Guess he wants me to be all toned too :) So what else? I've just finished cleaning. Proper full on clean... My house is lovely (again), but i've been REALLY tired today... REALLY tired. I got up at 7.30, did my exercising from 8 - 8.45 and then i went back to bed and slept...and now i've just finished cleaning i am knackered again :(  I got a little package today from AMAZON :) I love getting little packages from them... This is what i bought... Shirley Valentine along with Working Girl are two of my favourite 80's films. Since i already have the latter, i neede...

I'm going to be 37 in a matter of months.... That's nearly 40 (gasp)... The things i have been through during my 36 years have been quite colourful.. Not run of the mill normal day to day life, not what i had in my life plan... not what i wanted. Full stop. But the thing is, you deal with all the shit along with the good stuff... I've had my fair share of ups and downs, more downs than ups to be honest (since all my problems started at 12), but i do 100% believe everything happens for a reason and the latest being if i hadn't had this last mental breakdown i would not have gone on medication and i would not be feeling better now.... Which is amazing. Yesterday my boyfriend took the boy and me out on a drive. We went miles away again. He wanted to look at a campsite that had been recommended to him, it was lovely... so i was glad we went and even more pleased because we could stop off at Waitrose on the way home. After a big spend up in there we came home dropped ...

View from my mums conservatory... Stunning. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

...is amazing on the purse strings. Yes people, i have not spent any money for months... nothing really. Well, nothing exciting. Food, food and more food... Haven't purchased anything exciting since i finished doing my house, so i decided to treat myself on...books, a dvd and a cd. Whoop :) Oops, i lie, i just remembered i purchased a book the other week but that was with a Christmas voucher from Amazon. So,

I have found something new in myself... My love of cleaning and keeping my house looking smart. Yes, i have always kept my house nice and tidy, don't get me wrong, but i've stepped it up a level and i seem to be cleaning constantly. I love it. I love the fact you walk up to my house and my garden is smart. I love you walk in my front door and all the skirting boards are gleaming white and dust free.. I love that my front room is immaculate, i won't talk about the kitchen but i will say it's perfectly fine for what i need to do in it. I love that you walk up my stairs and the bathroom is spotless, i love that both of my bedrooms are kept so clean and tidy (even if i do still have to do the boys room!!!!). I love that i care.... Some people just don't give a crap and don't bother about their houses. I know of people where i've walked in and their places stink of an oder that is just rotten. Walk into my house and it smells clean and of spiced apple. ...