Keeps on coming..

Oh my goodness...everything seems to be falling so nicely into place apart from me. I don't want to 'jinx' this...but my blokie is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I really never thought in my wildest dreams that i'd be lucky enough to be with someone who ticks 80% of my boxes. He is by no means perfect...but who is - right? On Friday he turns up with a 'present' for me. I mentioned to him about a week ago (in conversation) that i walked past the new Miss Selfridge that was being fitted out ready for its grand opening on Thursday and i'd seen a nice grey dress. Not imagining for one second that he was taking any of this in, i forgot about it. Afterall, us women, ALWAYS see lovely clothes we want to buy. Anyway...he was in my house for about 30 minutes and he mutters something, i asked him what he said and he said "Nothing!"... He stands at my counter and rolls a ciggie while i make a cuppa, then he hands me an envelope. "What's this?" I ask. He just smiles at me. I open it up and there is a voucher for Miss Selfridge so i can get the dress that i liked! I was stunned. Gobsmacked, couldn't say a word. We had a wonderful evening together.

Today, i went out shopping with mum. Firstly i went to our jewellers to get my Ruby/Diamond ring altered and my silver ring that my sister bought me for my birthday. After that we went shopping then mum asked me if i wanted to go to PC World to check out cameras. She had just bought herself a rocking little Canon. We went in and had a look. There was one left of the kind that she had got. Apparently, quite popular. She looks at me and says "Do you want it?" ... "Um..yeah..please..." I said. OMFG - My mother buys me THIS fabulous camera in PINK of course...what other colour would i have? I was NOT expecting that. On the way home we stopped off at the lovely posh food shop and i bought a load of yummy biscuits. I almost bought a pair of flip-flops, hand made in Africa, but they were £49.95...i couldn't possibly spend that much on a pair of flippies....but i think i might now, they were so nice.

Got home and my gorge turned up with a bag full of food as well as a chopping board (because my one was warped) and a 12 pack of TOILET PAPER...because i use the horrible cheap stuff, i cannot justify wasting money on something that is going down the toilet, i REFUSE... So he makes me a ratatouille. Green, red, yellow peppers, onions, garlic, courgette, aberguine, tomato, basil, thyme, parsley and tomato puree. It tasted devine. This bloke CAN cook. It's so sexy to watch a man do something like that. ARSEWIPE couldn't make scrambled egg!!!!!!!! Here he is preparing it while i was playing with my new camera :)



...everything else is going wonderfully, but i am still fucked up, mental and agoraphobic. I cannot seem to be able to made that first step. I am so scared about driving with him and having a massive panic attack. I just don't know how to approach this in order to make some progress.... I want to, i HAVE to...but the fear of panic is definitely getting the better of me.

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