Picking myself up....

Foooooooooooking hell.  What a time i've had.  15 weeks of pure hell... Not including most of last year that i spent depressed...

I can look back at what happened to me and put it down as the worst episode of mental health (health anxiety) i have ever had in my life - and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Now it's all over (fingers crossed) i can yet again, pick myself up and start focusing on my recovery.  It's going to be long and hard, but i have no doubt in my mind that i will be able to do it.

Now....

Let's talk about 'rejection'...

This is something that i have struggled with all my life.   Friends/relationships.... when i am rejected from their lives it hurts.  Of course it does, naturally... but i really take it personally, but then it IS personal... These people no longer want me in their lives, because of who/what i am... and that is really hard to cope with and the more times it happens, the more i hate myself.....

So what can i do about it?  Stop being me?  Change my personality completely?  Be someone else?...... That's a lot to do in order for people to like me.... But then if rejection has happened more than once, then it's definitely down to me to make the changes so it doesn't happen any more.

Something else has happened that upset me a little... i wish i could talk about it... but i can't. It's not a real life issue, it's an internet issue... but none the less, it's made me feel 'rejected'.  It's so stupid, because most people wouldn't give a crap, but i do... Ugh!  Bloody Cancerian, over sensitive....

I hope everyone is well and doing good... :)