This is strange.

-
So i called up my mother yesterday and was all happy from what i had done during the day, but i got little to no reaction. So i called off. A little later i phoned again, and again i got the same response. No "Well done" nothing like that, in fact, she was more preoccupied with the fact that Stink wanted his hair cut and she likes it slightly longer! That conversation was a struggle, she barely spoke to me.

This morning i speak to my sister to see if mum was in an okay mood with her and she said that yes, she was fine. 10 minutes ago, my sister called me back after having a chat with mum. Apparently, my mother is feeling no longer needed. I don't call her as much any more (NB. If you knew the hassle it is to call my mother. A) She never has her mobile on. B) If you call and she's still at work you are confronted with tuts and sighs from my step father, like i shouldn't be calling - no win situation). I can kind of understand that this could be an emotion she's feeling, but hang on - i've been fucking mental for 12 years, i don't want to be mental anymore and that means i have to go out, and on a weekend/Monday i wouldn't see her anyway - so that is a tad confusing.

So yeah.... what do i do? Right now, exercises :)

Comments

coffeecup said…
Aww Sarah, your poor Mum! Like you say if you call it's your step father who tuts and that has nothing to do with her. Her mobile won't be switched off so she doesn't have to speak to you lovely lady, mum's forget to switch them on and use them, or at least mine does.

Don't be harsh on her, this is more than an emotion these are her feelings. Yes you've needed her for 12 years but she has needed you too. You've been her best friend all this time and given her your company. Probably helped her escape from your misery guts step father. Carry on calling her as usual and continue to go out with her now that you're feeling better. Otherwise she'll feel used and unwanted. Mum's never stop being a Mum and of course she's happy for you and wants to see you well. Relationships are two ways. She was more than just a carer to you! Maybe she did have a purpose looking after you. It would be great now if you can go out and enjoy a meal or a film or something together? I'm sure she'd like that xxxx
29/06/2010, 12:02
Sarah♥ said…
I will still go out with her in the week as usual, but when i asked her yesterday about going out today she said "Oh...you still want to then!?" As if to say, you have your BF now, you don't need me, but knowing full well he works all week!

I just tried calling her again - mobile off. What else can i do?

x
29/06/2010, 12:08
em said…
hi sarah

i thought the same as steph, maybe she prefers your company more than her husbands!!! dont give up, keep trying, you must mean alot to her for her to hurt. love the pictures of your day out, your boy looks like hes growing up. you should be proud of what you have achieved. x
29/06/2010, 14:30
Unknown said…
Oh bless her cottons.
I could see why she is feeling like this, but on the whole she should be proud as your learning to do things and not rely on her. That cn only be a positive thing.
I actually smiled when i read this as ive seen a great change in you since getting together with S, you look posively glowing as i wrote on your piccy and i as your friend am very very proud of you! :)
xx
29/06/2010, 17:02
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

CLOSURE. THE END!!!!!

-
Image
Where it all started... Say Hi and Goodbye to my EX HUSBAND. This is the precious man that i loved for all those years but who treated me like dog shite... I'm only really posting these pictures because i LOVE LOVE LOVE my wedding dress. It was EXACTLY what i wanted. Gorgeous...stunning...i still love it now, rammed upstairs in the loft, screwed up in a ball somewhere :) Don't i look happy? Unfortunately by the end of the day, i was crying!
Read more

From the mouth of an EX agoraphobic

-
A friend of mine yesterday pointed out what a person had written on their blog about being agoraphobic. Said person is an EX agoraphobic...this is what was said. "Agoraphobia is a selfish state of mind. Its completely "curable", and yet some people just wallow in their own self-pity and will never ever get over themselves and recover. When you are so worried about yourself all the time, how can you possibly be a good mother to someone else? Or a good wife/girlfriend/friend? I've unfortunately been the agoraphobic, and I've been the agoraphobics friend. As the friend, it was miserable. Nothing was ever about anything else but them. It was annoying and frustrating. And completely in their hands to change it, but they wouldn't. Because they're too selfish and self centered. Those aren't qualities people like in a person." Opinions please?
Read more

It DID get worse..

-
Image
...now there's a shocker! I have spent the entire evening in hospital. We had to call an ambulance, these feelings in my heart were insane. I was sat in the back on the ambulance and they did all my obs. I was tachycardic, my BP was really high (usually its stupid low) and my ECG was showing Atrial fibrillation, meaning the top two chambers of my heart are beating faster than the bottom two. I was put on oxygen as well because my breathing was a little bit crappy. The medic man stuck a candular in my hand and hit a valve apparently, my hand swelled up in seconds, it was so painful. Got to the hospital and did all the necessary things and then we had to wait...and wait...and wait. Where they'd stuck that needle in the back of my hand and hit the valve, it started going dead. I couldn't feel 4 of my fingers! I called to get someone to take the bugger out. I'm left with a lovely bit blue bruise this morning. My step-father was called to pick us up because we thoug...
Read more