Eating disorder head...

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Tomorrow, for the first time since my ex left (Mid 2008) i have been called in to help out at my old job for one shift.

Because it's Christmas they get lots of big parties in and they wondered if i could go in, which of course i said yes....

..but the thing is this. It's a 'Christmas do' which means i have got to look presentable, black trousers/jeans and smart(ish) top. So i wriggled into my Size 6 River Island trousers and cried. I looked awful. My thighs looked fat, my calves looked fat, my arse - just huge. I couldn't find a top long enough to cover all the bits i hated.

I measured my hips and they came in at 33 inches, and my waist 22.5 inches, so I KNOW realistically that i can't be 'FAT', however, i LOOKED IT, the mirror told me a totally different story...

I hate this illness...i feel fucking horrid.

Comments

vinny said…
oh i'm so sorry u have this ilness too hun,size 6 is very very underweight which is worrying really,is it only yourself that you see as being fat?what about other girls who are an avarage 12-14 like myself,do u see us as obese then?just asking cos,i suppose its hard for me to understand what u are going through and untill i had gone through the same then i would know so can't really give any advice,i feel and look fat all the time but as ive got older and a fella who loves me no matter what then i have learnt to feel better about myself and my fat body,when i was single i used to be a size 8 and over the past 10 years ive just shot up lol,oh well more of me to grab hold of,but i really wish i could see through ur eyes sometimes as to me you have a nice figure but i would still say underweight and you do need to put some weight on to give u sexy curves,don't mean to sound horrid or put you down in anyway but 6 is sooo tiny,if you got any thinner u would waste away and ur super pretty too which u cant see either,wish i could help ya,i hope the work goes well,don't be too anxious,ive got the dr's 2moz.
i bet that bigger girls look at you and think go i wish i had a body like hers instead of mine xxxxx {{{big hugs}}} ur soo lovely sarah just wish u saw what everyone else does ♥
14/12/2010, 17:47
em said…
good luck with the job. try not to think about what you look like, i know easier said, but dress up, look good (you do) big smile and go, im sure you will have a great time.x
14/12/2010, 20:09
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