Eating disorder head...

-
Tomorrow, for the first time since my ex left (Mid 2008) i have been called in to help out at my old job for one shift.

Because it's Christmas they get lots of big parties in and they wondered if i could go in, which of course i said yes....

..but the thing is this. It's a 'Christmas do' which means i have got to look presentable, black trousers/jeans and smart(ish) top. So i wriggled into my Size 6 River Island trousers and cried. I looked awful. My thighs looked fat, my calves looked fat, my arse - just huge. I couldn't find a top long enough to cover all the bits i hated.

I measured my hips and they came in at 33 inches, and my waist 22.5 inches, so I KNOW realistically that i can't be 'FAT', however, i LOOKED IT, the mirror told me a totally different story...

I hate this illness...i feel fucking horrid.

Comments

vinny said…
oh i'm so sorry u have this ilness too hun,size 6 is very very underweight which is worrying really,is it only yourself that you see as being fat?what about other girls who are an avarage 12-14 like myself,do u see us as obese then?just asking cos,i suppose its hard for me to understand what u are going through and untill i had gone through the same then i would know so can't really give any advice,i feel and look fat all the time but as ive got older and a fella who loves me no matter what then i have learnt to feel better about myself and my fat body,when i was single i used to be a size 8 and over the past 10 years ive just shot up lol,oh well more of me to grab hold of,but i really wish i could see through ur eyes sometimes as to me you have a nice figure but i would still say underweight and you do need to put some weight on to give u sexy curves,don't mean to sound horrid or put you down in anyway but 6 is sooo tiny,if you got any thinner u would waste away and ur super pretty too which u cant see either,wish i could help ya,i hope the work goes well,don't be too anxious,ive got the dr's 2moz.
i bet that bigger girls look at you and think go i wish i had a body like hers instead of mine xxxxx {{{big hugs}}} ur soo lovely sarah just wish u saw what everyone else does ♥
14/12/2010, 17:47
em said…
good luck with the job. try not to think about what you look like, i know easier said, but dress up, look good (you do) big smile and go, im sure you will have a great time.x
14/12/2010, 20:09
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Santa Pod..

-
My boy, his daddy and the "other" family are all off to SANTA POD this weekend. How exciting!! Stinky is car mad. He knows all cars, their makes, models, date of manufacture...everything, so going to there is going to be amazing for him :)
Read more

Dilemma...

-
I don't know what to do... So confused with it all. I have just called the boyfriend after not speaking to him since 8 this morning (he's off sick) to see if he was okay and i got ANOTHER mouthful... WTF?? I simply cannot do this any more. I'm fed up, the only thing is that he's helped me so much with getting out, if i end the relationship, i'll be back to square one, on my own with no one. *Le Sigh*
Read more

The last month...

-
Over the last month i have been diagnosed with severe anemia, had my 39th birthday, school broke up for the holidays, i stabbed myself through the finger with a dinner knife (not even a sharp one), but deep enough to have all the fat tissue hanging out, shave off the top off my little finger and have a round of botox and fillers............. That's all.
Read more