Changes.

I don't know if i mentioned this or not but i am currently paying for private hypnotherapy sessions. Today was my 3rd, it was very interesting because what was said made perfect sense.

How am i EVER going to get well when i hate myself so much? I've got to stop feeling so down about my looks (easier said than done), stop feeling like a failure in ALL areas of my life, stop taking the blame for things that don't even concern me, stop worrying about my relationship, stop feeling like i am worthless/pathetic/ a loser...and lastly, STOP LETTING PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!




ANY IDEA'S HOW I AM MEANT TO DO THIS....PLEASE COMMENT!

Comments

lotte said…
We will never let anyone else love us until we love ourselves. Easy enough right??!! NO is it fuck.

And yes what they have said does make sense BUT we have spent years of our lifes if not all of it letting people treat us like shit, blaming ourselves for everything that goes wrong for hating ourseleves etc etc.......SO we cant change it all overnight, wake up tomorrow loving ourseleves, feeling like we are worthwhile.

In my therapy I have been told that I should do something NICE for myself every day....eg paint nails, have a bath, read a book, put nice body lotion on......I cant manage everyday because of my low self esteem BUT when I do do something kind for myself I write it down along with any other positives I may have achieved that day. We are to quick to find the negatives in our lives and discount the positives.

Just try to be kind to yourself and REMEBER that you are worth loving, you are not pathetic or worthless..AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I WILL NOT BE THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS THIS!!!!

x x x x x x
Sarah♥ said…
Beautiful Charlotte, Hope you're okay sweetness...

I don't have a problem with bathing, reading a book, painting my nails, but i don't see that as 'being kind to myself' - it's just want normal girls do.

The therapist asked me about times in my life where i have been happy, and i really struggled with that. When i say HAPPY, i mean properly content..., that'll be once or twice then for me.

I can't all of a sudden start ACCEPTING the way i look, i have hated myself for too many years to turn it around and start loving it, that would make me a hypocrite surely!?

Fuck know's my lovely...

xxx
Nikki said…
Hey,

the hypnotherapy sounds good :) What are you doing it for, one specific thing (like the main worry), or the whole lot?

I have no idea either though.. I hate the thought of anyone hating themselves, yet I hate myself too!
I tried a positive thinking book.. but struggled so much :o/ I dont know why, I just struggle with reading, not the actual words, but just getting my head around it and/or keeping it in, weird.

At that CBT appointment ages ago the guy repeated back to me some of the stuff I said about myself, about what I feel about me or what I do, and it was shocking really, and no wonder I feel so low believing what I do. But its years on years of feeling this way, how do you undo that?!

Ive heard or read about all sorts, listing something positive about yourself each day, standing in the mirror and saying positive affirmations (Id feel like a twat myself!).. I really don't know. Theres days where Im ok with myself, then days where I just hate everything about me. I wish I had the answers.
Didn't he or she give you any ideas where to start, could you ask at your next appointment?
x
Sarah♥ said…
Hi gorgeous girl...

My therapy was meant to be for just agoraphobia, turns out, that she is simply gobsmacked with the amount of shit that i have been through and understand possibly why i am so mental! So, because of that, we're now having to work on a lot more than we initially thought. More money for her!!!!

I could NEVER in a million stand in front a mirror and tell myself that i am wonderful...lol...i am laughing as i write that.

She told me to read the book "The Secret" - which luckily i do have, but haven't looked at it. I don't mind reading, i've read ALL of Katie Prices autobiographies..., but that is only that kind of shit that'll sink in, oh, that and Heat or Closer magazine. I'm painting a good picture of myself.

I suppose i'd better *try* and read it. I've got until next week. Ho hum.

x
vinny said…
ooo that must be costing a fortune you must be made of money girl,ive always wondered if they would help?do they actually put you under a trance thing like ur asleep?don't think it would work on me somehow,i have always watched them paul mckenna things,so how is it going do you think its helping for starters?and yes i agree to look at yourself in the mirror more,write a note and stick it to the mirror saying i'm sexy or i'm beautiful just to remind yourself each day,take time to put make-up on and stuff,i know you say everyone does that anyway but it does make us feel better,wow ur fella and have a romantic evening and dress in a dress for him to make urself feel sexy cos u have got a perfect body for it hun,i'm sure he would drop down dead if you did that in shock lol,probably reading about celebs and stuff aint gonna help,but yes you really need to stop picking on yourself as everyone else thins ur a stunner so why don't you? i know its easier said than done but you will get there one day hopefully if we keep on telling you all the time lol
love ya big hugs lovely xxxxxx♥
Sarah♥ said…
It IS costing me a fortune, and that fortune is coming from Christmas money that i was meant to spend on the delights of clothes shopping....i'm thinking which one would make me feel better....hmmmm?

It's basically deep relaxation, it is amazing...but we'll wait to see what happens.

Dress in a dress? PMSL. I don't own a dress. I hate my short stumpy legs, there is no way i would wear one. A good idea if i was 5'8 ;)

Hope you and your plus one are well today my lovely.

xxxx
Kaci said…
I am currently trying to do the same thing, learn to love myself. It's not easy but some of the things that I try to work on is just being nicer to myself. So what if I didn't make it to the grocery store, at least I tried and I can always try again. Just being more gentle on myself. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Would you speak to your best friend the way you speak to yourself? Doubtful, I sure wouldn't. So I've been trying to respond to myself in the most loving way that I can. It takes time but it slowly gets better.

I just had a breakup a few months ago and while it was very hard to go through and still I have difficult days, I now have a lot of time to focus on myself and work on myself so that the next relationship I get into, I'll make better choices. So I've been focusing on things I enjoy to do, things that make me feel good about myself. I hope this helps :) You deserve to be happy with yourself, it's the best relationship you'll be in. (I know that sounds really corny lol)
Sarah♥ said…
Kaci - Thanks for your comment, hope you're well.

I wouldn't treat anyone the way i treat myself, but when you HATE yourself, making that switch from hate to love is hard, and will take a long time, especially since the feeling of worthlessness is consuming.

Sorry to read about your relationship break-up, hope you're doing okay. Break-ups are SO hard, it's as if you heart has been ripped out, but (i know THIS is corny), time IS a healer.

I should really take time out of everything to work on me....that WOULD make sense.

xxx
vinny said…
no i would never treat anybody like i treat myself either,i'm so hard on myself all the time silly really and yep a dress,go out and buy a few then cos ur dead thin and cute and ive seen you in dress b4 and you look lovely,go out and get a spray tan if your bothered bout ur white bits lol and short stuby legs? i'm only 5"2 and if they were chunky like mine then maybe but yours are very thin,you don't have to be 5"8 to wear a dress your just lovely the way you are,the best things come in small packages.
quite a few celebs are 5"2 and they look good in dresses here are just a few
reese witherspoon
christina aguilera
mary-kate olsen
shakira
emma bunton

the list goes on and you look just as great as any of these sweety ♥♥

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