The closer...

...we're getting to Christmas, the more anxious i am getting.   There are so many things that i hate about Christmas i couldn't possibly be arsed to start listing them all.   When i say i am getting anxious about Christmas, i REALLY am.  The whole thing from start to finish fills me with utter dread.  The fact that i have got to stay round the BF's when i've barely left the house in weeks is scaring me.  The fact that we've got to go visiting, again, when i've hardly been out, that's making me anxious too.  I hate the whole family get-together part too.  My family, doesn't get on too well... there is ALWAYS a row, always, always, always, and i find that really hard to deal with... And on top of ALL this, i am fucking ill... Coughing my lungs up.  I sound like a seal barking... it's not good.  The medicine that i am taking isn't working, so hopefully the antibiotics will.  I'm just completely pissed off and dreadfully miserable at the moment.  Can't shake this achy feeling, and get this, something completely new to me... Hot flushes.  Yes.  I'm now 56....not 36.  Sitting down, minding my own business then woosh, i am burning up... only for a couple of minutes... but even during the night, i am waking up (on the rare occasion i am actually asleep) drenched in sweat, completely soaked through.. which is pleasant.... but, no fever.... strange.

I'm being a proper misery... and i don't care.  I'm tired, i hurt, can't stop coughing and i am fucking depressed...

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!