Too much going on..

..don't know where to start.

I'm still sick, in fact, i am worse. Not only has my cough got worse (getting 2nd lot of antibiotics today), but i am aching so much. Throat, ears, head, legs....arms.... everywhere. But this is the least of my problems.

Christmas Eve. The boyfriend came over, i can't really remember what had happened, but he was drunk and stormed off up to bed and i was left downstairs feeling ill - i think i got to bed about 6am, only to be up at 7...

Christmas Day. He went off to do family stuff and i was feeling terrible still then he got the arse ache because i felt ill. At 2 we went round to my neighbours for drinks and at 3 we were picked up to go round to my sisters. It was a nice afternoon actually, however i still felt shitty. Got home at 8, my ex came round to see the boy and the BF again drank too much and this time pissed me right off as he tripped and spilt RED WINE all over my white walls...


..but i was the bad one for over-reacting. OVER-FUCKING-REACTING?? My walls have only JUST been repainted..... but that was okay, because apparently he would redo them for me... has he? Has he fuck!

Boxing Day. Went mental to be honest. Health anxiety crazy... This pissed off the BF again and he drank even more... which pissed me off... Vicious Cycle??? My mother popped round in the afternoon and the BF made us watch the DVD that he bought me... When they left we rowed. He was saying that he was going home the next day to have a rest.. When i asked for how long, he replied however long i want. This hurt me. I hadn't seen him for a week or more before Christmas, and i'd seen him for 2 1/2 days and he was fucking off again.... I've not seen him since Tuesday morning and he was meant to come round today.... and he's sick now.

Drinking is the issue here. He's at home because he wants to get drunk... simple as that.... Drink is always going to be more important than me.

Yesterday. I went grocery shopping in the morning and then spent FOUR HOURS trying to get off the border in my sons room. We did ONE wall. I reckon we stuck it on with the strongest glue ever... I was exhausted, grumpy and felt ill. For the rest of the day i did nothing.

Today. I've got to go and see a man about a stair carpet. The boy has just gone to the dentist because he brace has broken already.... and then back to the doctors to get more antibiotics... great!!!!

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