The straw that broke MY back....

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I've had one hell of a few days.

After the BF went missing from his works 'do', climbed over his gate paralytic because he lost his key, fell, battered and bruised himself.... little did i know what i was in for next.....

... He Skyped me, which was great.... continuing to down shots at 7.00 in the morning. He went off to have a doze, which he did until 2pm. He Skyped me back - but then it all went wrong..... He started. He turned vile and nasty... Saying things i don't even want to repeat. I was fuming... This time, he really hurt me. He was saying things firstly that was completely untrue... THEN he went on to bang on out my mental health problems.... again.... and he topped it all off with blaming my mother... LINE.CROSSED.MUCH!? And finally he said "If you can find someone better...then do it...." To which i replied "By the way you've been going on about me for the last hour, i'm sure you could do the same...." then he cancelled skype.... So, yeah... i was left shocked and hurt.

Monday came and he acted like NOTHING had happened. I said nothing.

Yesterday he came round mine and i let it ALL out..... Everything. I started off by saying if he wants to get pissed, then don't see me.. don't talk to me, nothing, i want NO part of his drinking because it only ends up with him being verbally abusive and angry. Then i told him that i CANNOT put up with his shit any more, i don't deserve what he says/does to me. I've not ONCE in our entire relationship ever said anything nasty to him... NEVER, surprisingly he said that yes he was in fact a cock and that he shouldn't talk to me like that... but apparently things go round in his head when he's pissed, but these *things* that go round his head, don't even exist in reality....only IN HIS HEAD! He was very apologetic... but i said that IF it ever happens again, i'm gone... I've had all this verbal shit from the ex, i don't need nor deserve it again. Being drunk is NO excuse. I'm really done this time...

Comments

WillowKat11 said…
Hey Sarah, i know you don't know me well enough for me to tell you what to do so i will TRY not to. I'm just glad your boyfriend at least acknowledged he acted out of line and yes being drunk is no excuse, he can choose to get drunk or not, you can't choose what your mental health is like and you at least are trying to get better, i know he's not always like that but he needs to stop it. One thing that really bugs me ('cause i've been in a similar situation myself that still effects me now to this day) is when one person in a relationship is having a hard time with Agoraphobia and the rest that goes with it (or any other illness for that matter) that the other (supposedly well) partner thinks they can get away with being abusive just 'cause they know it's not easy for that person to just walk away and find somebody else, my ex did this too just because he thought he could (he never thought i'd leave) sure he wasn't an angel before i got this problem but after it was way worse just 'cause he knew he was my only support person besides my family, that's why i left him, yes it was hell and still is but i can say i don't hate myself as much now. I'm not saying you should do that too, every situation is different. It seems you are not the only one with a problem, he needs to get help and figure out why he's doing this instead of taking it out on you, it's not like you can snap out of it 'cause it bothers him and you most certainly won't get better if you are in a toxic situation. Please be careful, you are worth something and deserve the best no matter what your mental health is like. Hope everything turns out ok. xo.

Kat.
14/12/2011, 11:22
Miss F said…
i am sorry this happened :-( I hate alcohol and thats the reason I have never been a drinker. My ex was an alchoholic and was very manipulative and nasty when drinking. There were good times too though, and i had a lot of experiences that i would not have had the opportunity to do if it were not for him.
I think you have done the exact right thing by talking to him and telling him the rules. You dont need the added stress of that kind of garbage on top of everything else.
Who knows though, maybe it will work out and he can stick to the rules and leave you alone if he wants to drink.
Anyone can find someone to treat them with respect whether you have an illness or not, and just because we have an illness, does not mean we dont DESERVE to be treated properly.
I hope you are okay xxx <3
14/12/2011, 20:32
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