Bank Holiday Monday tears...

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My boyfriend left me this morning at 8.15am (wanted his 'me' time) and i've not stopped crying since. I am a mess.

I don't know if it's to do with the not smoking because today has been by far the hardest day yet...i absolutely NEED to smoke RIGHT NOW...but i'm not. Instead i am substituting yummy chocolate biscuits for the ciggies. Not the smartest thing i have ever done and i did try blueberries, but didn't quite hit the spot.

To me, and perhaps i am wrong(?), but Bank Holidays are meant to be for people in relationships to be together? Whereas my boyfriend left so early this morning, like he couldn't wait to get out of the door. I don't know if i am reading too much into things, but i feel that he's not as affectionate just lately, and that the phone calls/texts are not as frequent. I really don't know. If i was to say any of this then he'd say i was worrying for nothing... but sometimes you just "know" something is wrong.

Comments

Robert said…
I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you, Sarah. I hope that there is nothing wrong.

However, about the not smoking - eating junk is not good for you, but smoking is much, much worse! Good on you for keeping off the ciggies despite times of stress.
05/04/2010, 17:05
Nikki said…
Hi Sarah, I wouldn't read anything into it.. I remember when Si first asked me for some time on his own - I was GUTTED! I hated it the whole idea, admittedly its a bit different because time on his own means me going elsewhere, ie my Mums(!), but he doesnt really say it much anymore. Im hoping his afternoons in the garage, nights out here and there are all helping. Besides, sometimes its nice to be on your own, wax your legs, do some false tan, face mask, hair treatments, anything that you enjoy doing, something girly that perhaps you would only do without a fella there?
Im not sure how much time youve been spending together over the last few days, but maybe he just fancies a chill out and a mess about with his new toy before hes back at work?

Dont worry :)

Oh, and dont worry about the biscuits either!

xx.
05/04/2010, 17:23
lotte said…
Firstly, dont worry bout the biccies.....better than nicotine

Secondly....your 'Mr'
I can understand you worrying, but im fairly sure it will be for nothing, but I've been there I think its the wanting to feel 'wanted' and 'needed' all the time by others, its comforting when you know someone wants to spend a lot of time with you, however, I know for me sometimes I feel like saying 'bugger off out for the day and let me have some peace, just to be by myself' you know so i can read a magazine and relax....but i cant say it because I feel i may upset the other half....like nikki says he probably wants to play with his gadgets.

xxxx
05/04/2010, 19:19
coffeecup said…
You have such strength and determination. Huge congratulations for giving up three whole days already. See how amazing you are! When you put your mind to something Sarah you can doing anything you want to :)

Ah I hope nothing is wrong too, but reckon perhaps your boyfriend just had plans in his head for today. Love is not about being needed and wanted all of the time it's about allowing each other to be themselves and make their own choices. I'm sure it's nothing to worry over. Do something lovely for yourself this evening. Facepack and nail painting, hmm, sounds like an excellent idea! I may join you. Take care sweet girl xxx
05/04/2010, 20:19
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