Back to reality.

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I really wish the holiday hadn't ended. I don't like reality. I don't enjoy how my life is here. It's more than stressful, too much anger, resentment.....sadness.

It's getting close to when my ex leaves and this is weighing on my mind right now. He's Stinkys dad..... He shouldn't move all that way away. He's meant to be here for my son and for me, to help me bring up our boy.... to be there when i am struggling, but as of Wednesday, i'm alone.... No more 'Daddy'.

Okay, being honest now... I do it 95% on my own anyway - but was comforting to know that he was so close to us. What am i going to do now? Again, thinking of it makes me cry. I cried in front of him yesterday and he said "I've been waiting 10 years to see tears from you Sarah.............".

I just don't know what to do.....

...I'm right back there, confused with what i am doing.... Yes my holiday was wonderful and i got on really well with my boyfriend, but back home, back to real life.......it just isn't right.

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