PANIC!

I felt like screaming at the time, but i'm better now. This just goes to show how i am still very unwell with my agoraphobia.

This is exactly how it went...

I was in Sainburys, mum was talking to someone, so i said i'd run round and get the few bits that i needed. When i'd finished, she was still talking, i could see her when i turned round. At that point i was thinking that i felt like a 'normal' person, just shopping.... My boy came over and chatted to me for a second then wondered off again. The customer who was being served was taking forever to pack his bags, and there was still one more person before me. Anyway... i turn around again to 'check' to see if my mum was still there, and she'd gone. No son, no mum. I was scouring what little bit of Sainsburys i could see, and nothing. At THIS point the panic rose. I could feel my stomach churning... I continued to look round for them, the people in the queue must have thought i was mad!!!. Well, i am. I started to distract myself by counting how much i thought my shopping would come to, but still i felt shitty. FINALLY i paid for my stuff, but with 4 (heavy) shopping bags i charged round the shop looking for them both. Couldn't find them.... so i looked again.... nothing. By now i was practically having a break down. I tried to call her mobile, it was off. I made my way to the entrance, and there she stood, talking, to someone else.

I JUST WISH, EITHER MUM OR THE BOY HAD TOLD ME WHERE THEY WERE GOING!!!!!!!!!! I was so angry at her for just walking out and not telling me.... :(

Panic sucks!