I should not feel so alone.
I should not feel like i don't have a single person in the world to talk to.
I should not cry, daily.
I should not hate my life like i do.
I should not walk past a mirror and want to scratch my skin off every part of my hideously scarred body.
I should not wish every day to end as soon as it's begun.
I should not be analysing every feeling and sensation that goes on inside me.
I shouldn't not speak to anyone, all day.
I should not envy my son for having a day out in London.
I should not feel angry for the people who 'care' about me, but seemingly don't give a fucking shit.
I should not feel like a burden, i didn't want to be this way.
I should not hate myself as much as i do.
I should not have caused hurt and pain to others.
I should not have been such a terrible wife, then perhaps my ex would still love me.
I should not worry so much.
Perhaps if i was nicer, more attractive, more caring, more understanding, more thoughtful, more considerate, more generous, more outgoing, more confident, more loving, more trusting, more supportive, more healthy, more aware of others, more compassionate, more carefree, more enthusiastic, a better mum, a better daughter/sister/friend, perhaps if i cleaned and tidied my house more, perhaps if i cooked better dinners, perhaps if i tried harder - NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING TO ME.
I have been a right arsehole in my life, a horrible nasty bitch..... to people i genuinely care/d about.... This shit is Karma.
I should not feel like i don't have a single person in the world to talk to.
I should not cry, daily.
I should not hate my life like i do.
I should not walk past a mirror and want to scratch my skin off every part of my hideously scarred body.
I should not wish every day to end as soon as it's begun.
I should not be analysing every feeling and sensation that goes on inside me.
I shouldn't not speak to anyone, all day.
I should not envy my son for having a day out in London.
I should not feel angry for the people who 'care' about me, but seemingly don't give a fucking shit.
I should not feel like a burden, i didn't want to be this way.
I should not hate myself as much as i do.
I should not have caused hurt and pain to others.
I should not have been such a terrible wife, then perhaps my ex would still love me.
I should not worry so much.
Perhaps if i was nicer, more attractive, more caring, more understanding, more thoughtful, more considerate, more generous, more outgoing, more confident, more loving, more trusting, more supportive, more healthy, more aware of others, more compassionate, more carefree, more enthusiastic, a better mum, a better daughter/sister/friend, perhaps if i cleaned and tidied my house more, perhaps if i cooked better dinners, perhaps if i tried harder - NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING TO ME.
I have been a right arsehole in my life, a horrible nasty bitch..... to people i genuinely care/d about.... This shit is Karma.
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