Fecking hell...

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Moan, whinge, groan, bitch, whine, gripe...that's all i seem to do.

It's Sunday. A day i would usually see my man, but this morning i made the decision that i wanted to come home and 'be alone'.......wtf? I've had the most miserable, depressing, negative thought provoking day since FRIDAY! Cry? Yes. I have cried countless times. Feeling fucking sorry for myself. Check. Yes, done that too.

Yesterday, although i was anxious about going to my boyfriends, i got there without panicking (this is a lovely new experience, one that i haven't had to deal with for a very long time!). We had a lovely afternoon, had dinner, then one of his friends came round. We were still talking until the early hours, time flew, i ENJOYED myself.

..but then this morning, i woke up with that awful sense of "I HATE MYSELF TODAY"..."TOO UGLY TO BE OUT"..."TOO UGLY TO BE SOMEONE'S GIRLFRIEND"...ugh, just a bad bad day to be in the company of anyone and didn't want to bring him down with me.


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