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What i hate is not being able to tell people how i really feel without feeling guilty for moaning. My mother STILL doesn't know how much i hate myself, and if i try and tell my boyfriend he will constantly remind me of how there are people who are much worse off than me (WHICH I DO, I REALLY DO UNDERSTAND), but what i feel, day in, day out - it's fucking soul destroying.

Sitting here today, not knowing what to do with myself. I feel ill. I am tired. I just want to be normal and well....

I want to cry it out to someone who really understands and cares about me...and i can't do that. I am so down and i don't know what to do about it.

I wish i felt better. Please, If there is a God out there - help me. I really need help.

I'm crying into my pillow so my wonderful little man doesn't hear me...

Comments

Flipper said…
I couldn't read and not post. I really wish I could do something to help, I can relate to a lot of what you say. Wish I lived closer to you, lots of love xxxx
21/01/2011, 16:46
Sarah♥ said…
Just responding is lovely. Thank you x
21/01/2011, 16:54
coffeecup said…
I wish we lived close Sarah because I would come straight over and you could talk to me. I hear you sweetie. You're not alone in feeling down in this way.

Inside I'm crying for help too and having to accept that nobody will or can. Just having the strength to write how you feel is so hard - you ARE strong!! Keeping all this to yourself each day proves how much.

((HUGS)) x
21/01/2011, 21:15
Sarah♥ said…
But i can't keep it in any more, but scared to let it out. I KNOW the reaction i will get from my boyfriend, from my mother i will get "EAT THEN" (her answer to everything) and friends - don't get it. What can i do? I'm stuck, in hell, that's what this is....hell.

Hope you're okay beautiful one (and you ARE beautiful) xxxx
21/01/2011, 21:17
vinny said…
can you go see a cousiler person again sarah to speak to as i get like this at the end of my tether and wanna give up cos i don't think anyone will ever understand,i'm crying and screaming inside sometimes but explaining my difficulties to anyone is just strange as nobody seems to really get it but me and other people like urself who go through simlar things on a daily basis,i'm trying to stay as posative as i can,ive got to get better now i just have to,i have even invited a few family members down over the next few months to see if that helps,wish i could help u sweetie don't cry xxxxx
23/01/2011, 01:23
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