That was brief.
It seems today that i am back down there.
Had a 'do' with the boyfriend last night. I called him at 4.30, no answer.... i left it over an hour and i called back, this time he answered, but i could tell immediately that he was in a stinker. The conversation lasted about 2 minutes, i think it included me asking him if he was okay and if he'd been sleeping, then i misheard what he said, i heard something about smoke, and *thought* he said he said he could smell smoke, and that someone was having a bonfire, but that was wrong, what he in fact said was that he'd lit a fire....but with that, because i couldn't hear him he was instantly wound up and angry. He said that he KNEW we were going to have crosswords, i was confused since i'd said FUCK ALL that could possibly upset him...., apparently i was 'bombarding' him with questions (please refer back to the beginning of the paragraph for the TWO questions i asked him). With that i apologised for upsetting him and said bye. A few minutes later he called back saying that he was right in thinking we were going to row, but when i called it was the last thing i thought was going to happen, he ended up putting the phone down. I was more than confused with how that conversation went, with that, i cut. I know stupid stupid me....but (obviously) i blamed myself for him being pissed off and i deserved to be punished for that...
I just don't know anything any more..... Seriously, i know i have fucked up in my life, i know i've done wrong, i'm really not perfect... but i TRY my hardest to please HIM. Do i not deserve a partner who won't be like that to me!? 'Flipping out' at the smallest things....
Now...I follow on Twitter Thenotebookoflove.... I really like it. I copied some of the tweets over the last day, i think a lot of them are VERY appropriate.... Have a read through...
Reading old conversations with you make me realize how much has changed. I miss you, or at least the person I knew.
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Sometimes, we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.
If something isn't happening for you it does not mean it's never going to; it just means that you're not ready for it yet.
Just because I'm good to you doesn't mean I'm giving you the permission to hurt me every time.
We keep running after the people who least care about us. Why don't we just stop, and see the ones running behind us?
Forgiving is easy. Trusting again, not so much.
I'm not gonna sit here and waste my time, when I know you're never gonna be mine.
Some people want a relationship, but don't want to give up their single ways.
I don't need any "sometime" people in my life. You're either with me or you're not. You can't just come and go as you please.
Two things you should never play with: the heart and love. The heart is not a toy and love is not a game.
Everyone seems 'normal' until you get to know them.
People wonder why it's so hard for me to trust others, while I wonder why it's so hard for others to keep their word.
You must never compare yourself to anyone, except the previous you.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. and forget about the ones who don't
Sometimes I just have to let him win, because losing the arguments is easier than losing him.
If I treated you the way you treat me, I promise you wouldn't stick around the way I do.
I don't do so well with being a second option. Either you want me or you don't. It's that simple.
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too.
Silence is a girl's loudest cry. You will always know she's deeply hurt if she's ignoring you.
Sometimes a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, because she's not ready to give up hope that maybe someday he'll change.
The only thing that's worse than a broken heart is knowing that you would give them a chance to do it all over again.
In life people come and go, but I wish I had control over those who stay and those who leave.
Everyone makes mistakes, it's the things you do with the mistakes you made that counts.
He's just a boy who doesn't understand what's in front of him. She's just a girl who doesn't know how to let go.
Loving someone that doesn't love you isn't wrong, it's just painful.
It takes two hands to build a relationship. With one, you can only wave a goodbye.
Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet, because trust me, he can drop you on your ass just as fast.
If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless, I'd be worth something by now.
I don't know which face to talk to, since you have two.
This is how we get hurt: We start believing it really could last forever..
I won't apologize for who I am.
It's not that I don't have luck in love, God is just saving me from bad choices.
If you get your heart broken, don’t waste your time thinking over the person who did it. They don’t deserve any more of your time.
Nothing hurts more then being disappointed by the one single person you thought would never hurt you.
I have to let go of you. It would've been great having you as part of my future, but now you are just a sad part of my past.
Sometimes it's not the person you miss, it's the feeling you had when you were with them.
Don't change who you are for anyone. If God in all his infinite wisdom made you exactly the way you are, He did it for a reason.
There are some things that cannot be changed and there are some situations where an apology won’t be able to change a thing.
Maybe sometimes people don't change; maybe you just never really knew who they were.
It's amazing how someone can make you feel like the world, and then make you feel like you're nothing.
Don’t be afraid to believe that you can have what you want & have what you deserve.
Three biggest lies from a guy's mouth: 1. I'm not that type of guy. 2. I won't hurt you. 3. I'm sorry.
Just when you thought you knew someone, you have no idea who they are.
Had a 'do' with the boyfriend last night. I called him at 4.30, no answer.... i left it over an hour and i called back, this time he answered, but i could tell immediately that he was in a stinker. The conversation lasted about 2 minutes, i think it included me asking him if he was okay and if he'd been sleeping, then i misheard what he said, i heard something about smoke, and *thought* he said he said he could smell smoke, and that someone was having a bonfire, but that was wrong, what he in fact said was that he'd lit a fire....but with that, because i couldn't hear him he was instantly wound up and angry. He said that he KNEW we were going to have crosswords, i was confused since i'd said FUCK ALL that could possibly upset him...., apparently i was 'bombarding' him with questions (please refer back to the beginning of the paragraph for the TWO questions i asked him). With that i apologised for upsetting him and said bye. A few minutes later he called back saying that he was right in thinking we were going to row, but when i called it was the last thing i thought was going to happen, he ended up putting the phone down. I was more than confused with how that conversation went, with that, i cut. I know stupid stupid me....but (obviously) i blamed myself for him being pissed off and i deserved to be punished for that...
I just don't know anything any more..... Seriously, i know i have fucked up in my life, i know i've done wrong, i'm really not perfect... but i TRY my hardest to please HIM. Do i not deserve a partner who won't be like that to me!? 'Flipping out' at the smallest things....
Now...I follow on Twitter Thenotebookoflove.... I really like it. I copied some of the tweets over the last day, i think a lot of them are VERY appropriate.... Have a read through...
Reading old conversations with you make me realize how much has changed. I miss you, or at least the person I knew.
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Sometimes, we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.
If something isn't happening for you it does not mean it's never going to; it just means that you're not ready for it yet.
Just because I'm good to you doesn't mean I'm giving you the permission to hurt me every time.
We keep running after the people who least care about us. Why don't we just stop, and see the ones running behind us?
Forgiving is easy. Trusting again, not so much.
I'm not gonna sit here and waste my time, when I know you're never gonna be mine.
Some people want a relationship, but don't want to give up their single ways.
I don't need any "sometime" people in my life. You're either with me or you're not. You can't just come and go as you please.
Two things you should never play with: the heart and love. The heart is not a toy and love is not a game.
Everyone seems 'normal' until you get to know them.
People wonder why it's so hard for me to trust others, while I wonder why it's so hard for others to keep their word.
You must never compare yourself to anyone, except the previous you.
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. and forget about the ones who don't
Sometimes I just have to let him win, because losing the arguments is easier than losing him.
If I treated you the way you treat me, I promise you wouldn't stick around the way I do.
I don't do so well with being a second option. Either you want me or you don't. It's that simple.
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, forgetting that you are special too.
Silence is a girl's loudest cry. You will always know she's deeply hurt if she's ignoring you.
Sometimes a girl keeps going back to a guy who treats her bad, because she's not ready to give up hope that maybe someday he'll change.
The only thing that's worse than a broken heart is knowing that you would give them a chance to do it all over again.
In life people come and go, but I wish I had control over those who stay and those who leave.
Everyone makes mistakes, it's the things you do with the mistakes you made that counts.
He's just a boy who doesn't understand what's in front of him. She's just a girl who doesn't know how to let go.
Loving someone that doesn't love you isn't wrong, it's just painful.
It takes two hands to build a relationship. With one, you can only wave a goodbye.
Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet, because trust me, he can drop you on your ass just as fast.
If I had a penny for every time you made me feel worthless, I'd be worth something by now.
I don't know which face to talk to, since you have two.
This is how we get hurt: We start believing it really could last forever..
I won't apologize for who I am.
It's not that I don't have luck in love, God is just saving me from bad choices.
If you get your heart broken, don’t waste your time thinking over the person who did it. They don’t deserve any more of your time.
Nothing hurts more then being disappointed by the one single person you thought would never hurt you.
I have to let go of you. It would've been great having you as part of my future, but now you are just a sad part of my past.
Sometimes it's not the person you miss, it's the feeling you had when you were with them.
Don't change who you are for anyone. If God in all his infinite wisdom made you exactly the way you are, He did it for a reason.
There are some things that cannot be changed and there are some situations where an apology won’t be able to change a thing.
Maybe sometimes people don't change; maybe you just never really knew who they were.
It's amazing how someone can make you feel like the world, and then make you feel like you're nothing.
Don’t be afraid to believe that you can have what you want & have what you deserve.
Three biggest lies from a guy's mouth: 1. I'm not that type of guy. 2. I won't hurt you. 3. I'm sorry.
Just when you thought you knew someone, you have no idea who they are.
Comments
I have been in similar relationships, in the past, and looking back I wish I had just gone, and not wasted time and effort , on trying to make the relationship work when it just was not going anywhere,nor was ever likely to, and where I was just grasping at the few times when it was good, to compensate for all the crappy times.
Your boyfriend, in fact nobody, is worth you harming yourself for. I know it is easy for me to say that.
Are you ok? Stupid question I know, but I hope you didnt hurt yourself badly. x
I can see your point, i'm aware that we have no future together, but i don't like to give up on things, that's why i stayed with my abusive ex husband, because i was sure i could make him love me...if i was better.....but i failed.
I wish i knew why he did these things (taking drink out of the equation). Perhaps he doesn't love me like he 'says' he does, maybe he does want more than i can give him, but goodness knows, i try my hardest to do what i can....
No major injury... Thanks for asking.
x