Thought about this for a long time...

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I have to face this problem which is a very real one. I know this is disgusting/hideous/ugly......but this is what i do. I have picked my face so much that it's really REALLY sore. I don't want to be judged...because i feel bad enough as it is.... This is me. I'm sorry if it makes you feel sick....but i want to be honest.

My skin is discoloured/scarred/wrinkly/obviously i have NO make-up on. My eyes look dark and sunken, but i think this will give you an idea of why i hate myself so much... and this doesn't even start on the rest of my fucked up body.

BEFORE


AFTER - Thank God for Vichy Dermablend and Bare Minerals foundation...

Comments

vinny said…
hiya hun firstly i think you look great without make-up,apart from the picking of the scars you look fine to me,your in your 30's and older than me,i look awful without make-up lol i really do,thanks god for make-up to be honest,i get lots of spots like big hard pea type ones which look a bit like yor scars and its so hard to cover them up,i to pick and try to pop my spots which just makes the worse so i really shouldn't,it must be hard for you not to pick your face cos its a habbit,but you have not got wrinkles or deep bags under ya eyes or anything,if you look at some of the celebs without make-up then they look the same xx♥xx
12/09/2011, 13:39
coffeecup said…
Vichy dermablend? What's this? I must have some!!

Sarah, I'm so pleased that you posted the smiling photo after the sad faced one. I read this post this morning but I simply did not know what to say to you because you would not have accepted my compliments. The picking marks are so superficial and will heal within a day or so. I do exactly the same though I'm not so great at covering them up and will literally hide myself away until the redness goes down. Still I won't use make up on imperfect skin, which means I never wear make up! All the women you see must be covering up their little imperfections because everybody has them. I think what's sad is that we feel we can't go out if we're over a certain age, or don't have porcelain doll skin without having to hide 'the shame' from everyone else.

You are always beautiful regardless of being made up or not. Nothing is going to detract from your big beautiful blue eyes and pretty face.

Vinny is right. Just think how the press love to try and get photos of celebs without their make up on or their shapewear knickers so they can have a go at them for being human! For goodness sakes! Then we can all looked shocked if someone has cellulite or a spot. The world is totally screwed up - NOT you xxx
12/09/2011, 21:10
Sarah♥ said…
Vinny... I'm 36 and STILL getting spots, spots annoying enough to pick!!! I've had 22 years of this shit.... :o(

I'm sure you look beautiful without makkie....

xxxxx
12/09/2011, 21:47
Sarah♥ said…
Steph. Your comments make me smile. How can you be so complimentary when i look so frigging (obviously) hideous? It's the first time i have been brave enough to post pictures of myself without make-up, in fact, i think i had a momentary brain malfunction!

I know i bang on about this a lot, but right now with all these reality TV programs going on, all the girls on there look fabulous, but they probably don't sit in front of a mirror for hours on end picking at their skin.. I am my own worst enemy and i know this.

I can't imagine you would ever look a 1/100th of how terrible i look. Half those spots on my face have been there since my holiday, and i just keep picking and picking and they won't go. Right now, i am sitting with them all covered in Panoxyl, it works but makes my skin as dry as anything. I'm thinking i'd rather have dry skin than spotty, but the irony, as soon as i try and moisturise it, the moisturising will sink into my face and it's extra large pores and create even MORE spots. I have such awful skin.

Thanks again Steph, you're amazing ♥
12/09/2011, 21:55
Sarah♥ said…
Sorry Vinny, i didn't ask how you're wee girly is.... xxxx
12/09/2011, 21:55
vinny said…
oh yes she is fine thanks and growing big now,just crying lots and lots,if you think you have bags under ur eyes them come live here lol she will giva ya bin bags ha ha,thanks for asking and hope ur son is having a good new start to his new year in school too ♥
13/09/2011, 00:30
Lisa x said…
I agree, you don't look hideous at all without make up. Everyone gets spots and everyone looks rough without make up. Have you seen the pic of katy perry without slap? She looks barely recognisable. It is a shame that all girls/women feel that we need to be perfect to be beautiful, especially since there is no such thing as perfect.

Can sympathise with you about the picking. I constantly do it too. I know have scars over my back, chest & shoulders and a couple on my face. I can't stop myself though. I find sudocrem helps it clear up fast though and I slather E45 cream on my face before bed to prevent dryness x
13/09/2011, 02:18
CharlotteCa said…
Hi Sarah
How are you feeling today?
Ok I wont lie - the after pic looks better, but that does not mean you are not attractive, without it on. Most women look better with make up on.I look horrendous without make up. Its scary. Sometimes I almost lose the will to live, looking at myself and wondering what happened to how I look. I spend vast amounts on skin care products and make up, but after a certain age, then I know I am going to have to have fillers and botox.
I don't know much about skin picking. Do you do it more when you are stressed and unhappy?
If you were truly unattractive then you would still not look lovely when you have make up on and you do look lovely with it on.
Not many people look good without make up and especially as we start getting older.
13/09/2011, 12:00
Sarah♥ said…
Hi Vinny...
I'm all about the sleepless nights, thanks to years of insomnia! I'm VERY lucky if i get 3 hours a night and everyone says to me, sleep in the day, which would be great, if i could ;)

My boy seems to be enjoying year 8, if only he'd learn that homework has to be more than ONE line of writing! When the detentions start coming, i reckon he will...lol

xxx
13/09/2011, 12:34
Sarah♥ said…
Lisa, you're lovely as always :)

I don't even want to be perfect, just normal would be great. I'd love to be able to go out without make-up on, for my skin not to look like i've got welts all over it, but it's all my fault, can't blame anyone but me.

I do have Sudo in my drawer, but i think i've over used it and now it does nothing. Plus it's quite greasy so (like E45) sucks into my pours and makes more spots... It's a no win situation.

x
13/09/2011, 12:37
Sarah♥ said…
Charlotte, thank you for your honesty.

I would definitely consider fillers at some point..wrinkles around the eyes and my smile lines are too deep.

I pick MORE when i'm stressed, but i do it every day anyway. I wish i could find another way to vent my frustations, but i can't.

For me, because i hate the way i look, if i see a spot then i want to get rid of it, because it's making me more ugly, but by picking at them for hours on end, only make it worse, but even after years of doing this and knowing the outcome is shite, i still don't learn.. :(

x
13/09/2011, 12:44
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