Still not happy...

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We had ANOTHER disagreement where this time HE put the phone down on me! The cheek of it.

This time we were talking about his holiday that is just about to start. He'll have 9 days off in total. I was saying to him that when he's off he never wants to see me and how that seems a little bit strange. I explained that i understand we're not in a 'conventional' relationship due to my problems, but still - it would be lovely for him to want to spend time with me considering we don't live together and he works. Like NORMAL couples. When they have time off....they either go on holiday (which i know i can't do) or they take day trips, which is more feasible, but no..... when i said this to him his response was "I WORK FUCKING HARD AND IF I WANT TO SIT ON MY ARSE FOR A WEEK, I WILL....". Hmmm....not really what i wanted to hear. He said "I am NOT talking about this..." and went. He is still living in a different world to me. He believes he sees me Sat, Sun, Mon and Tues, sometimes even Wednesday too EVERY WEEK. He is delusional. That would mean that i'd see him at least 20 times in a month, whereas my calender says different. HALF THAT AMOUNT in reality.

I'm beginning to feel that everything i say or do ends up in a row.

Comments

Flipper said…
this makes me sad :( you deserve so much better xx
01/07/2011, 18:20
vinny said…
yes flipper is right as you do deserve better,just cos ur ill you can't have a proper relationship what??? i'm a complete fruitcake but i'm still in a long term relationship and have been for 10.5 years,not trying to pee you off there btw.
but you can have a meaningful relationship,i already had anxiety when i first met my fella but things have esculated and i have gotton worse and worse and gained more mental health issue's and he really does understand now,i still feel dead guilty granted but if he got ill ever then i would stick with him through thick and thin as its not anybody's fault,to be honest your boyfriend knew what he was getting himself into before you got together or very early on so he can't take it out on you,he sounds like he still wants to be a lad and not grown up about things which is sooo sad,bet you could meet somebody that treated you the way you wanted hun cos i know he says he loves you but is that LOVE?i'm not so sure as love is understanding,sharing and yes ur right spending time with one another,me and my other half are best friends aswell as partners so its nice,we spend all our time together and never get bored of one another and that,s how it should be i think,he does everything for me and never moans about it,ok we do have arguments like all couples but never really bad ones,this is so unfair around ur birthday too what a dick for treating you this way ;0(
please stay safe and think twice b4 you do anything stupid again,just come here and scream or do a video blog and scream and tell us all how ur feeling rather than self harming babe xx♥xx
01/07/2011, 19:29
Sarah♥ said…
Thank you both.

What it comes down to is that i am just not worthy of his time nor unconditional love. It's really that simple.
01/07/2011, 20:53
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