Internet v's Real life.
I've been awake most of the night, thinking....doing a lot of thinking, and really before i start typing this, i should have made a coffee to help me along.
I was going over in my head the issues between me and one certain girl. This ISN'T a blog slagging her off, nothing like that. I just came up with some legitimate comparisons between Real life and the internet.
In REAL LIFE i have NEVER EVER had any person (apart from my evil ex, oh, and the bullies) who have ever hated me as much. I go through my life, with my mental health problems managing to AVOID drama and such people that create drama. So how is it that in the WWW i got myself caught up in the mindless nonsense. Nonsense that just doesn't go away? It just doesn't happen on any day, in reality (we'll take family out of the equation for this blog....no one gets on with families ALL the time!). I have my friends and WE GET ON. It's simple. We don't argue.....we don't fall out......we don't go behind each others back talking about one another....no, no, no - because they are friends, you just don't do that. HOWEVER...IF (and that's a big if) i had a disagreement with a someone, you sort it, talk it through, it's over, that's the way I work. None of this dragging it out for years, full of hatred, name calling shit. Really, that is such childish behaviour and i'm so much better than that.
I was going over in my head the issues between me and one certain girl. This ISN'T a blog slagging her off, nothing like that. I just came up with some legitimate comparisons between Real life and the internet.
In REAL LIFE i have NEVER EVER had any person (apart from my evil ex, oh, and the bullies) who have ever hated me as much. I go through my life, with my mental health problems managing to AVOID drama and such people that create drama. So how is it that in the WWW i got myself caught up in the mindless nonsense. Nonsense that just doesn't go away? It just doesn't happen on any day, in reality (we'll take family out of the equation for this blog....no one gets on with families ALL the time!). I have my friends and WE GET ON. It's simple. We don't argue.....we don't fall out......we don't go behind each others back talking about one another....no, no, no - because they are friends, you just don't do that. HOWEVER...IF (and that's a big if) i had a disagreement with a someone, you sort it, talk it through, it's over, that's the way I work. None of this dragging it out for years, full of hatred, name calling shit. Really, that is such childish behaviour and i'm so much better than that.
I think in internet land, you can forge some kind of relationship with people, but you don't ever really know them, and i think that's what happened with me. I was so desperate for a friend who understood what i was going through when i 'met' said girl....looking back perhaps i should have not got myself involved. Saying that though, there are TWO blokes who i started chatting to around the same time, might even have been a bit before, and we are still talking now. (Yes, my boyfriend does know!!!).
To conclude this. I KNOW it's nothing that i have done that has created this mess, because that level of drama truly doesn't exist or effect me outside of the WWW. I could copy and paste my blog back until 2004 and you wouldn't find anywhere were i have talked about rowing with a (real life) friend.
I wonder if we asked that very question to said person/s - they could honestly answer the same?
Right - coffee time.
To conclude this. I KNOW it's nothing that i have done that has created this mess, because that level of drama truly doesn't exist or effect me outside of the WWW. I could copy and paste my blog back until 2004 and you wouldn't find anywhere were i have talked about rowing with a (real life) friend.
I wonder if we asked that very question to said person/s - they could honestly answer the same?
Right - coffee time.
Comments
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Thank you. Glad to meet another viewer ;)
Some people, not everyone, just like to hold onto hate and anger. I'm pleased to say, that i don't.
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Ive read your blog for a couple months but I'm not really a commenter o' blogs. My anxious self doesn't like to talk up. But I want to say something about this. It's okay to be different. Getting in arguments with friends isn't a bad thing. I mean if it's like what your stepfather does it's a different story. But differences of opinion or full on nasty arguments arent a mark of a bad person or being a bad friend. It's really how you grow from it. Infact I think it's unhealthy not to argue! I tell my kids that all the time. I understand wanting to avoid it, especially if you have anxiety issues! Sometimes I can barely hold a GOOD conversation with people! But you know when the relationship is beyond repair, and it's best for you and everyone involved to back off eachother completely. It keeps your dignity intact. As I said, I've been reading for a couple months and I've seen your posts about her. Can't imagine that helps the situation. With all due respect, when l read that you wrote a comment on her friends blog I was thinkin that was pretty silly of you. I know you meant well, but cutting off contact means off contact. You kinda walked into that one IMO. The more you talk about her, the more ammo you give her. Not only in for her, but it means she still has power over you. Make sence? She can't have any power over you if you pay her no heed. You have a public blog here, so it's kinda fair game about who reads it. Maybe you should make it private?
Sorry I don't have a blog, gotta sign in anon
No. 1 - I disagree. I don't like, nor do i want to get into arguments, big or small, with my friends. I like things life is happy without confrontation.
No. 2 - Agreed. Some relationships are not salvageable, but if i'd fallen out with a close friend, i would make damn sure i had tried my hardest to repair whatever misdoings that i'd done - THEN i would move on.
No. 3 - With all due respect to you. The person's blog who i commented on is a FREQUENT reader here, so i thought, as i meant it with ONLY GOOD INTENTIONS that there would be no harm. However, fore mentioned girl for some reason thought it was a blatant attempt to steal her friend, RATHER than i was being nice. So forgive me for caring. Regardless of what has been written about me, i do care about people. I am a nice person. If by commenting on her friends blog warrants an attack on me OR that could be seen as giving her ammo - then so be it. If what i did was SO bad....then clearly i deserved it.
No. 4 - Yes, my blog is public. Yes anyone can read it, but IF SHE HATES ME SO MUCH THEN WHY BOTHER??? THAT IS THE BIT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IF SHE COULD EXPLAIN IT - saying that, she did, she likes to see me fuck up, which is not a reason to read about someones live, is it? But then...i guess that's the kind of person she is. Thrives off other peoples failures, that to me is a little sad.
I hope i've cleared some things up.
:)
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