Where do i begin?

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I'm having a really shit down day today. I am hating myself. I feel disgustingly fat and ugly. My face looks like i have chickenpox. I'm hidden away upstairs in my bedroom while my son and boyfriend are playing the X-Box. Suits me.

I think because i've been in pain now for so fricking long, i am tired of it. Last night was the first night in WEEKS that i didn't get up 2/3 times to take medication. I did wake up loads because of a headache, but i didn't move, just lay there, in pain. My gum/dry socket is not actually hurting as much as it did yesterday, i don't have that the intense pain of electric shocks in my face, but it is still throbbing.

I feel worthless and useless and there is no point to me at all.
Waste of space comes to mind.

Comments

Shelly said…
Hang in there.....You are worthless and useless.

I hope your pain gets better and you get through this soon.
07/11/2010, 14:32
vinny said…
ur not worthless hun ur just going through a rough time of it,i feel the same today,cried for most of it,slept for most of it and they lay there and cried a bit again ;0(
i came on my period,been trying for 3 months now and nothing ;0(
i feckin hate waiting so long just to find out if ur preg its crap,i'm getting all the symptoms before hand too like sore boobs nips cramping headaches but i get them all the time anyway,i feel bloated and boobs feel bigger but it must have just been my crappy period giving me all these signs,i prayed it would happen this month too its so unfair as i know the doc's don't even do anything unless u have been trying for a year,well thats great only another 9 months of heartache if it doesnt happen ;0( doesn't god think ive had enough crap to deal with in my life let alone this now,we have both got so much love to give a baby,not fair when u see piss heads smack heads etc etc popping out kids left right and center and then kids having kids,i will be 32 in jan and still not had our first and it takes 9 months to have so i will be about 33 having my first great stuff!!! soz about having a moan be we can be down together lol,i can't do bugger all else so the least i deserve is to be a mum.
hope ur antibiotics are kicking in then and hope it heals ok this time,try and keep ur chin up as i'm trying.
i now remember why i went on the pill in the first place to stop my periods from killing me so much,now ive come off the pill they are sooo heavy and painfull feels like a knife in my belly and on top of my ibs its not fun,i could be a pharmacy the amount of tablets lotions and postions i have in this house lol,love and hugs and cheer urself up and watch the x-factor xxx♥xxx
07/11/2010, 18:16
em said…
whenever i feel physically unwell i usually let my mind wander and things seem so much worse then they really are. when you health is back on track (your poor toothy hole, ahhh) im sure you will pick up. hope you feel better soon. x
07/11/2010, 20:03
Lisa said…
Dental surgery does suck, I empathize- been there/ done that. But I agree with Em above, when I feel sick, everything seems worse. You gotta do a HALTS: if you're
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
Sick

these are signals you need to be extra, extra good to yourself, lower all expectations, and just get through the emotion. don't make any rash decisions when you're feeling this way or pick fights either, tho I know I've done both. Take care, get rest when you can and feel better soon.
08/11/2010, 23:17
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