Fuck the lot of them!

IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS TO ME - IF MY MOTHER/BOYFRIEND STOPPED HELPING ME TO GO SHOPPING/GETTING OUT ETC, THEN I WOULD HAVE TO DO IT MYSELF AND I WOULD GET BETTER, IS A FUCKING WANKER.

I AM NOT GOING TO 'ALL OF A SUDDEN' NOT HAVE PANIC ATTACKS ANY MORE BECAUSE NO ONE IS HELPING ME. THEY NEED TO HAVE A PANIC DISORDER FOR A WEEK. THE IDIOTS.

I UNDERSTAND TOTALLY THAT IT 'CAN' BE SEEN AS ENABLING ME TO STAY ILL - BUT I SIMPLY CANNOT DO THESE THINGS ALONE. YES, THEY ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO STOP HELPING ME.... BUT I WILL JUST COPE, LIKE I HAVE DONE WHEN I WAS HOUSEBOUND BEFORE.

Comments

Nikki said…
Who's saying it?
I can see the point I guess.. Simon reasurring me when I go on about health stuff was probably not helping me get better, and thats had to stop.. But everything else hasn't, its a slow process.. and one that you're/we're in. Youve come far with the help of your b/f and your Mum and one day you probably won't need them, but I can totally get why you're pissed off. I used to go on No More Panic but I got so sick of everyone knowing what was the best thing, they were all great at giving advice and all thought they were right.. yet they were still ill themselves! Its all easy from the outside in, and while we, and others have v similar problems, each one of us is different and each one will do what we want, what we feel is right, or what works..
I get proper annoyed when ppl tell me "You should just eat" or "Just eat what you want, its in your head" re the IBS, that bugs me. Id love to do that, but unfortunately its not entirely in my head!
Dont let them bother you too much if you can help it xxxx
coffeecup said…
It's an idiotic thing to say I agree. Heard once - heard it a thousand times. I KNOW that if you're left to your own devices you do not suddenly cope doing things yourself. I've lived alone miles from family and I couldn't make it into the supermarket or the town centre alone. Had to rely on a corner shop for food which was three doors down and believe me some days I could barely cope with getting there! It's bollocks Sarah. Agoraphobia is an illness not a lifestyle choice! You don't get better without support. You get out much less because no one is there to support you and take you. You feel more afraid alone and life rapidly goes downhill. As soon as found myself on my own my social life ended and I stopped going out. Without my Mum I'd be stuck in my bedroom and as there's no boyfriend to trust and take me out to social places I'm stumped.

Sadly, guess I'm living proof that the polar opposite applies x
vinny said…
oh i hate it when people say stuff like that as they just don't understand do they ggrrr.
ur right,you don't just stop having a panic attack if nobody is there with you omg you get it a whole lot worse if anything and then its sets you back to be all frightened again and back to square one so this does not work,this is why i need my fella with me too but until somebody has these difficulties they will never understand which i can understand upto a point but please don't judge as its still a disabiltiy in a way just like any other xx♥xx
Sarah♥ said…
So many people over the years, but the latest was my bestie. And i quote her words... "If i was you, i would have done something about it by now".

All along i have known she understands little to nothing about my illness, in fact, her and the boyfriend were almost 'mocking' the fact that i didn't just have just the one mental health problem i had many... That was totally unfathomable.

Ho hum...

Hope you're okay Nikki.
Sarah♥ said…
Hope you're okay gorgeous lady and you had a lovely birthday :)

Isn't it a stupid thing to say!?

I live out of town, 5 -7 minutes by car, i am NOT going to just be able to trot down there myself, or grab a bus because there is no one to take me.

Of course it's not a lifestyle choice but according to most people, this is exactly what it is. Yes, they are right. I wanted a lifestyle that kept me from having a life for 13 years.

NO ONE can say that i am not TRYING my hardest to go further and do more...

Okay, so my mum takes me out on a Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday, and i have seen my boyfriend a grand total of THIRTEEN times this month...not a huge amount, so it's not that i am relying on him. If i didn't have my mother, like when she was on holiday i would do internet shopping, simple as that.

People are fricking clueless and it makes me so angry.

xxxx
Sarah♥ said…
Vinny, you said it absolutely perfectly!

You do feel so much worse if you panic alone, at least if you're with someone they can reassure us and take us home.

If i was left on my own, i could cope, but its the isolation that would get to me more than anything.

Don't get me wrong, i don't get anxious being on my own at all. I am alone 90% of the week and thats fine. But i do get lonely...and thats when you start thinking shit and the brain starts whirring.

It's that age old saying "Don't judge a person unless you've walked a mile in their shoes."

Hope you and the wee one are okay :)

xxx
Nikki said…
"Done something by now"? Like what? Youve tried CBT and plenty of other stuff havent you? You're not in the same place you were years ago, so whatever you're doing now is obv working.

If they havent been anywhere where you are then they don't get it.. My Dad understands, but only because he has a few problems of his own, but still, he doesnt quite get it fully and I don't think anyone really can.
My friend doesnt get it either, I think he finds it a bit uncomfortable and I feel like I changed in his eyes almost right away, like Im some sort of weirdo. Maybe thats my paranoia though? Hes asked me to meet up etc, but if he understood he wouldn't ask me to go to certain places bcos he'd know I couldn't..
Theres no doubt about it, you feel worse enough, and lonely enough as it is sometimes, without the comments on top.

Im still not sure what she/they were getting at.. That you should just go everywhere on your own.. by bus and on foot? I dont think you have a car do you? Thats a huge part of it, Im lucky enough to have a car.. if I had to go by bus or on foot then I don't think Id get v far at all.. Feeling trapped on a bus, or knowing I didnt have an escape/my car, then Id be buggered. I walked to school yesterday and that was a real struggle (40 min round trip), and not one Id like to repeat soon!

Its obv upsetting, its not like its a perfect stranger, its your friend and tbh, I feel she should know better.
xx
Sarah♥ said…
Nikki..
I have tried everything that i can. I paid for all that hypnotherapy, privately, which doesn't come cheap. I've done CBT numerous times. I've seen therapists....what else can i do!???

I think that people think i should just be able to walked the 2 miles into town, or hop on the number 72 bus...but i can't do that. It is that whole feeling of being trapped, i can't panic halfway into town then i am stuck for an hour waiting for the next one to take me home, can you just imagine!?

You did fucking fantastic to walk 40 minutes, i struggle with 5 minutes.... WELL DONE YOU! Very impressive.

My friend should know better, but if she's never experienced what it's like, how can they possibly understand how it is? I mean, you could possibly TRY to see it from my point of view, that would help, but being blinded by the whole concept of panic attacks, just isn't helpful.

x

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