Fed up.

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Why can't i be happy...?
What the hell is wrong with me?

There are many deeper things that are going on in my life that i can't resolve and it's bringing me down so hard and so bloody fast, i feel like i am out of control.

Having my room fixed up made me happy for about 2 hours.  Now that's over, i am back to being miserable and unhappy.

Right now, i have no desire to fight agoraphobia. I just need to let it be, and if i can't go out or i don't feel like going anywhere because i am just not up to it, then so be it... I am tired of fighting day in and day out... I have tried SO hard over 2 1/2 years to progress, do more, go different places, and it *seems* that my courage so to speak, has got me no where, because this very moment in time, i just can't be arsed.   I am so fed up... What more do i have to do?  How much more of 'pushing myself' does a girl have to do?

I've got too many problems that are never not going to be here.
I'm just a big fuck up with ZERO enthusiasm for life at the moment.

Comments

Lisa x said…
I feel like this all the time too. I think if I can get this... or do that... I'll be happier etc, then, It happens and the happiness is short lived sometimes I don't even feel anything. I'm starting to get quite concerned about it and thinking I might be a bit depressed? Wish I could think of something helpful to say but I don't know how to get out of it either.

Lisa x
08/11/2011, 01:40
Sarah♥ said…
Oh Lisa... This makes me sad too...

We need to do something to make us a little bit more ...... enthusiastic about things again. NOTHING makes me happy... in fact my boyfriend is the totally opposite and gets really excited about the smallest things, and i just sit and grunt!!!!

xxx
08/11/2011, 07:59
Flipper said…
i'm like this at the moment too, i'm just so tired of trying and trying and everything still being just as hard as it was before :( xx
16/11/2011, 16:25
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