Tesco panic attack from hell...
I will write this as exactly how it went...
(Standing by the make-up)
Mum - Right i'm going to the toilet
Me - Okay, don't be long, i'll wait right here....
After 10 minutes with panic rising mother didn't appear, i walked round to the loo's and she wasn't in there either. I tried calling, no answer. By now i was panicking... What do i do? Embarrassingly i went to customer services where i explained that i was having a panic attack and that my mother had disappeared and could they put a call out for her.. I was in full panic mode by now.. Just as they called her, she appeared. I went nuts....
Me - Where have you been!?
Mum - No where, looking for you...
Me - You took ages, i stood by the make-up for 10 minutes...
Mum - You weren't there...
(Turns out she wasn't even looking in the make-up section, but the clothes aisle, 6 aisles down!!!)
So that was that... We carried on for a bit and i went to the self service check outs and mum went to a till. While i was doing my stuff she called to me that she was going to get an advent calender because she had forgotten she needed one. So off she went again!....
...NO SIGN and another 10 minutes had passed.... FFS! I went and stood by the door, panicking. I was clearly agitated because the customer service person i saw earlier came over to me to see if i was okay... I told him that she'd gone missing again and that i was panicking AGAIN! I said she'd gone to find the advent calenders, so he said that he'd go look for me... I followed him to a certain point... After a few minutes he came back and showed me where she was..... No where near the calenders - TALKING!!!!! OMFG... I literally had a breakdown by the cat food. I was sobbing... I could not believe that knowing what had just happened she would be daft enough to leave me so long because she was talking. I was so upset... tears falling down my face....
Really pissed off i was...
However...
We went onto Next to collect my new (REPLACEMENT) coat and after that to the shopping centre because i needed a 'Thank You' card and they have one of those cheap card factory shops in there.. So mother stayed in the car while i went and i even managed to venture into another shop further on... So yeah... Not so bad i suppose...
(Standing by the make-up)
Mum - Right i'm going to the toilet
Me - Okay, don't be long, i'll wait right here....
After 10 minutes with panic rising mother didn't appear, i walked round to the loo's and she wasn't in there either. I tried calling, no answer. By now i was panicking... What do i do? Embarrassingly i went to customer services where i explained that i was having a panic attack and that my mother had disappeared and could they put a call out for her.. I was in full panic mode by now.. Just as they called her, she appeared. I went nuts....
Me - Where have you been!?
Mum - No where, looking for you...
Me - You took ages, i stood by the make-up for 10 minutes...
Mum - You weren't there...
(Turns out she wasn't even looking in the make-up section, but the clothes aisle, 6 aisles down!!!)
So that was that... We carried on for a bit and i went to the self service check outs and mum went to a till. While i was doing my stuff she called to me that she was going to get an advent calender because she had forgotten she needed one. So off she went again!....
...NO SIGN and another 10 minutes had passed.... FFS! I went and stood by the door, panicking. I was clearly agitated because the customer service person i saw earlier came over to me to see if i was okay... I told him that she'd gone missing again and that i was panicking AGAIN! I said she'd gone to find the advent calenders, so he said that he'd go look for me... I followed him to a certain point... After a few minutes he came back and showed me where she was..... No where near the calenders - TALKING!!!!! OMFG... I literally had a breakdown by the cat food. I was sobbing... I could not believe that knowing what had just happened she would be daft enough to leave me so long because she was talking. I was so upset... tears falling down my face....
Really pissed off i was...
However...
We went onto Next to collect my new (REPLACEMENT) coat and after that to the shopping centre because i needed a 'Thank You' card and they have one of those cheap card factory shops in there.. So mother stayed in the car while i went and i even managed to venture into another shop further on... So yeah... Not so bad i suppose...
Comments
Next - Meh! They're not the quality they used to be.
One of my huge problems with Panic is that it brings up all sorts of secondary feelings about the Panic. People look at you like you are mental. And then you start to feel like a 'failure' because you are having another panic attack.
Recently, I was walking along outside just fine, my sister by my side, when the bolt of dread pulsed through my chest, and the only thing I could think was "I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" Then it passed. Then it came right back, like an old friend!
Its really hard not to make a scene especially into front of people who have no idea what you are going through.
Then I try to use some of the Zen stuff, like "...focus all your attention on you feet..or your hands..." that works for about ten seconds and then irrational thought like "OMG!!! THE SKY IS TOO BIG!!!!" seem to edge out any reason. Singing works for me sometimes, but if I'm tired, the Panic usually wins.
Please don't stop writing. Unless you get cured!!
It WAS horrendous... I was desperate. The Tescos i was in has all been changed, it's much bigger than before and i am not familiar with it yet... That made it worse...
Sometimes i still wonder if my mother really gets it?
My coat is lovely.. But it had threads hanging after not even 2 weeks. Luckily i have an old friend who works there who sorted it out in a second :)
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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT.
It's so easy to leave negative comments behind an anonymous name... We could all do that... I just wish the people who are trying to make me feel worse about myself just was honest about themselves as i am about my life!!!
I know exactly what you mean, you can try and focus on something while panicking, but even if you can do that for a second, the feelings still come through... :(
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